Finding the right relationship has always been a challenging task and that is especially the case in today’s dating world. Sometimes we think we want something, and once we get it, we realize that it wasn’t what we really needed. Before you find the right person, you’ll probably encounter numerous guys that are not for you, but that is all part of life experience and you should look at them as lessons. But if you don’t want to learn things the hard way, here are five tips for finding the relationship you need.
Know what you want
When it comes to romantic relationships, most people actually don’t have a clue of what are they actually looking for. And to make things worse, they are not aware of that. So, the first thing you have to do is to have a talk with yourself so you can realize what it is that you really want. Are you even ready for a committed relationship or do you just want some attention and casual sex and are tired of single life? Once you have this settled, think about your deal breakers and the issues you simply can’t compromise about. Think about your previous relationships and the things that annoyed you when it comes to your ex-boyfriends. Of course, there are things you can be bothered by, but think about their personality traits and qualities that were deal breakers for you. Once you become aware of your deal breakers, you’ll have less trouble finding a guy suitable for you and compatible with you. Don’t feel guilty for having these deal breakers—it’s better to be aware of them before you start dating anyone, and you have every right to have boundaries. Yes, compromise is crucial for every relationship, but you need to face the fact that there are simply things people can’t compromise about, like marriage, having kids, change of religion, etc. Don’t ever think you can change some things about the other person so they can fit your standards, or that you can change yourself for the sake of anyone else.
If you keep going on dates but no guy is good enough for you, maybe you actually don’t want a relationship and are running away from any possibility of anything serious in this way. Or you are just being too picky. Remember that you are not perfect and therefore, nobody else is, so don’t expect to find a man from your dreams because he probably doesn’t exist. Stop putting men in boxes and give some guys a chance, even if you think you don’t like them at first. Although you should stick to your important deal breakers, that doesn’t mean that you should be petty. You can’t find Mr. Perfect no matter how hard you try, so maybe it’s time to lower your expectations. Every guy you meet will have some flaws that you will find irritating, but if you want to build a healthy relationship, you must accept your potential partner for who he truly is. Yes, physical attraction is very important, especially in the beginning, but you must be realistic and not look only for men who look like underwear models. When you are getting to know a guy, focus on the little things and the way he treats you. Focus on who he is as a person in general, instead of looking for the slightest imperfection in his looks and character—because we all have them.
Don’t let yourself be led only with your heart
Yes, love is all about emotions and you should never be with someone if you don’t have true feelings towards that person. If you do that, you’ll only make both of you miserable. But it’s also a good idea to include your mind in the dating process from time to time. I am not saying you should force yourself to be with someone just because he is good on paper, but you shouldn’t let yourself be led with instincts and passion only. Sometimes, when we meet a guy, we are blinded by our emotions and we can’t think straight. Chemistry and butterflies are important and can’t be replaced by anything, but when it comes to entering a serious relationship, you should think some things through. Are you compatible with this guy? Is he treating you right? Is this a person you could imagine living your life with? Sometimes, you may feel this incredible chemistry with someone and you may feel like he has rocked your world, but that is not always the foundation for a healthy relationship. If this person doesn’t make you calm and you can’t seem to meet halfway with a guy or if you don’t have the same views on life when it comes to important things, sometimes it’s wise to end things right from the start. Yes, a relationship with someone can make you feel like you are riding an emotional rollercoaster, but that usually comes with a cost.
Take things slowly
It’s common for new couples to rush things right from the start and to make the relationship more serious than it should be. Unfortunately, this often leads to many disappointments, because these relationships end as quickly as they’ve begun. When you enter a fresh relationship, you also probably have the natural urge to move things as quickly as possible. You want to get to know this person better and you want to spend every free moment with him. You are so happy when you are around this guy that you want all of your friends, family, and social media to know about it. But even if you think you’ve clicked with this guy, give yourself time. Don’t rush things and don’t force him into anything, because you’ll only appear too pushy. No matter how in love you may be, remember that this is a new person in your life and that this is someone you don’t know what to expect from. Don’t give yourself completely from the beginning. I am not saying you should treat him like an option—I am just saying to hold a part of yourself for yourself only. Take your time to get to know him, and you’ll make a strong foundation for a healthy relationship. Besides, it’s always possible for a relationship not to work, and if you hold a break, you’ll be less disappointed.
Love your single life
Although this probably sounds counterintuitive, it’s crucial to love your single life before you get yourself on the dating market. This way, you won’t allow yourself to jump into a bad relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. You’ll appreciate yourself enough not to be with the guy who doesn’t treat you properly. Besides, you won’t be desperate to be in a relationship. When you are satisfied with your life, you don’t need a man to complete you—and you don’t consider it catastrophic if you don’t meet the guy for you. You are comfortable in your own skin and won’t give up your happiness just for anyone and will not settle for a toxic relationship that doesn’t fulfill you. Besides, happy girls are more attractive and appealing.