Unless You Let Go Of The Wrong Person, You Can’t Find The Right One

let go of the wrong person

It is definitely very hard when you need to get through this period of forgetting someone. But, as much as I know, there are many people who are going through the exact same thing. You wanted to go back, to try to fix things, even though you thought about it many times and you know it was not up to you. No one can force anyone to do something, to love someone, to feel bad when you hurt someone, etc. Yet, you are that good, so you keep thinking whether you could do something to save your relationship. No matter how much you are trying to see where the problem was, you know you will never find it.

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    While you struggle with these unexplainable situations, you are staying in the same place. You are trying to figure out why your person valued you less than anyone, even though you put so much effort. You are asking yourself if it is entirely your mistake. But the only mistake is thinking about this. The person that abandoned you wants you to stay in one place. He doesn’t want you to move on, to progress, and you are doing exactly what he wanted you to do.

    I am aware that it is easy to say things instead of doing them, but please think about this. No matter how hard it is to live through a breakup, try. Give your best to get over it. Your heart is broken, you really thought that this person was your forever one. While you were investing in him, he was rambling away from you. It is fine to feel broken; you just went out of a toxic and unhealthy relationship. Let’s say that the both of you were trying at some point in a relationship and one of you still chose to leave. People consider those who leave from one another as weak ones, because if you are giving up, you are abandoning a person that meant something to you, a person you committed yourself to.

    Older people taught us that we should never settle for less than we deserve. We should never let anyone play with our feelings. We should never let ourselves be in a toxic relationship. Now we have this knowledge built into the brain. Yet, we are not listening to our mind. We let our heart decide what is good for us and it always decides wrong. Even though we know what we deserve, we know how people should treat us, we know our value; still, we take that for granted. We stay in unhealthy relationships, and we choose to let people treat us inappropriately. We choose to be in pain, and we truly hope that that pain will pay off.

    By thinking this way you are prolonging your pain. If your person couldn’t see your worth, why are you still turning around? This kind of relationship that you are in is definitely something that’s hard to maintain. It will break at some point, you will feel heartbroken and in some strange way, it is your fault. You didn’t terminate things when you saw that they are not going to end well. You could save yourself on time, but you wanted to try. Why do people give chances to those who can’t see how much they value or how much love they deserve?

    No matter how long were you together, if you had a strong connection, if you gave yourself fully, you will feel hurt. Your emotional bond that you thought is so strong, is now so weak and breakable.

    To sum the things up, relationships can turn out to be bad for us. When that happens, try to realize that it happened for a reason. Don’t go back, don’t beg anyone to stay. If it was good, it would last. Leave the people who are wrong for you. No matter how much effort, love, and strength you are giving, you can’t save what is meant to be broken.

    The faster you let wrong people go, the sooner you will be able to meet the right people who fit you, who will see your value and what you deserve. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Don’t let anyone fool you. Find a strength, let the past go, and go out to meet someone who will appreciate and love you. Life is short and unless you let go of the wrong person, you will never be able to find the right one.

     

    About the author

    Kirsten Blackwood

    A mental health writer and advocate. Currently I write about depression. My work has always been centered around health as I previously worked at a variety of healthcare-focused agencies. I wanted to help people who were struggling with an illness or disability, but often times didn’t feel the work I was doing was providing the right voice to the people I was trying to help. Here, I can connect to you in your journey by encouraging you to share the good, the bad, and moments in-between.

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