They say time heals all wounds. But when somebody hurts you deeply, sometimes it seems impossible to recover. Even when you move on with your life and everyone thinks you’ve completely forgotten about what has happened, scars on your heart and soul remain. With time, you learn to live with those scars—they simply become a part of who you are. But you’ve changed and are never again the same person you used to be. You’ve built walls around your heart and become scared of giving yourself completely to anyone. You’ve become emotionally unavailable. You’ve become emotionally broken. And you need someone special to help you put yourself back together.
Not every man has the capacity or ability to handle you. It’s quite difficult loving a broken girl. They seem challenging to be around and men may think they are not worth the effort. But, trust me, they are.
A broken girl is someone who once knew how to love unconditionally. But people used her more than once. Nobody knew how to appreciate her and everything she was giving to them. And she was giving her entire self. She always believed in love and hoped she would find somebody who would be ready to match her effort. But, unfortunately, she never did. She has been through a lot. She endured more pain than you could ever imagine. And her heart is not the same anymore.
But the broken heart can only be healed with true love. So, you need to be more than patience with this girl. She appears hard to reach and sometimes she will be sarcastic and closed. But she is only insecure. She is terrified that you will treat her like everyone else before you. She is scared that you will only use her and keep her around for as long as you need her. She is terrified that you will take her for granted, that you will manipulate her emotionally and treat her as a toy. She thinks you’ll see her as a free ticket for sex. And most of all, she is terrified that you’ll walk away as soon as you realize how broken she really is. She is afraid that she will be too much for you to handle, because she is aware of her emotional damage.
But don’t ever look at her through her broken heart. The moment she feels you pity her for everything she has been through, she will be back in her armor. She doesn’t want to be perceived as weak and broken. She wants you to have faith in her. She needs for you to believe in her, because she doesn’t believe in herself. You have to love her so much that she grows to love herself again. Because that is the only thing that will help her fully recover and start her life again.
She will question everything you do. She won’t believe that your emotions and intentions towards her are sincere. She won’t be able to believe that someone could love a person she has become. The men who were in her life before you made her think she is not good enough, have convinced her that she is not worthy of anyone’s love and care. Her self-esteem is on the lowest possible point. She doesn’t think she is pretty or smart enough. She thinks of herself as worthless and blames herself for every time she has been caused pain.
You’ll need to remind her constantly how beautiful and intelligent she is. Most of all, you’ll need to remind her that she is strong and worth fighting for. You’ll need to remind her of the beauty of her body and face, but most importantly, you’ll need to be telling her how beautiful and caring her heart is, even if it’s broken.
She’ll be scared of opening up to you. At times, she’ll appear distant and uninterested. You’ll even think that you mean nothing to her. There will be times when it will seem that she hasn’t stopped loving the man that she loved before you. But you couldn’t be more wrong. She is over him and would never even consider going back to him—she is just not over the things he has done to her. She projects his behavior to every other person and expects every guy, including you, to treat her the way he did. And, yes, she cares for you. She let you in her life and that is a proof of her love towards you. But she just needs time to open up to you. Sadly, men in her life taught her to keep her emotions for herself only and showed her that she will be hurt the moment she expresses them. That is why she appears cold at moments—that is only her defense mechanism.
She won’t ask for much from you. She enjoys little things in life. You won’t have to take her out to fancy dinners nor will you have to buy her expensive gifts. If you do, she will appreciate it, but those are not the things that will impress her. The only things that can truly impress her are love and attention. She will be thrilled by the little tokens of your affection that will show her that you truly love her.
Try hard to get to know and love her true self. Never try to change her. Every man in her life tried to do that and tried to mold her to fit his standards. And along the way, she lost herself. Show her that you are different. Help her find herself again, and show her that you love her along with all of her imperfections and faults. Show her that you don’t want her just because of her physical appearance, show her that you appreciate her soul and that you love her because of her personality.
Never treat her like an option. If you want to help her heal, you will want for her to realize she is your priority. Yes, she will be too needy sometimes, but that only means she has grown to love you and that she is terrified of losing you.
But most importantly, show her that she can trust you and rely on you. Be her shoulder to cry on, be her rock—allow her to feel safe and secure around you. Show her that you won’t leave her as soon as things get rough. It will take a lot of time for her to realize you are trustworthy and even more before she allows herself to count on you. Don’t ever violate her trust by telling her things you don’t mean and don’t have the intention of fulfilling. Show her that she has your support, no matter what. She needs to know that you’ll have her back at all times. Always be honest with her. She will always prefer the truth, no matter how harsh it is. The moment you try to lie to her, she will see it and she will lose all of the trust she has acquired for you.
I know all of this seems too challenging and too hard to handle. Broken girls are sometimes like that. But, trust me, a broken girl will give you more love than you could ever imagine. They require a lot of time, patience, and energy and ask for a lot—but give much more.