Love Relationships

You need to remember these 12 things if you love one who suffers from depression

depression
Written by Naida

– No one chooses depression

When people start to feel like they aren’t worthy or they have no love inside of them, then they become frustrated and empty. You feel like no one can help you, it is a serious condition that leaves you trapped in your mind and you can’t do anything to make your day brighter. Depression usually lasts more than a day. It could last for months or even longer periods. It is not easy to get over a depression, and suddenly no one chooses to feel helpless, empty, or sad.

– Don’t torture your partner with meaningless phrases

That pointless sentence like “you will feel better” does not need to be said. A person who is struggling with depression finds it meaningless if you say that. To be honest, it is easy to say that, but on the other side, is it easy for your partner to act that it will be better?

Don’t make things even harder. Try to learn how to handle the easiest way with your depressed partner. Be aware that these “support” sentences only make your partner feel not good enough for you.

Show them that you are by their side and that you really believe in them instead of being the one who is tired of saying “you will be better.”

– Occasionally they could close themselves for you

If your partner has that period when he or she avoids you, don’t get mad or frustrated. Depressed people often do that because they are frightened that they might make you as sad or empty as they are. So, if they push you away, still let them know you are not leaving, but don’t force them to be around you. You will just make things worse. They will speak up about problems when they are ready.

– You can’t be happy all the time

If you are dealing with a depressed partner, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have right to be pissed off sometimes. You love and respect your partner but don’t be a fool around them. You can’t lose yourself for someone who doesn’t even try to get better. No one is made of stone so that he can endure someone’s depression forever.

The best for both of you would be if you find out the way to love and respect your partner, without being a victim.

– You need to talk and set the borders

As in many life situations, it is important to make a conversation anytime you feel like you are losing yourself because your partner is depressed. Take a minute and try to explain to him how you feel. Patience plays the main role here. Only with proper conversation you too can set things to work in the way which fits for both of you.

– Depressed people can easily get exhausted

You never know if he or she is going to cancel your date or night out with friends. They seem good in one moment, but in the next one they simply want to stay home telling you to go with friends without them. Even though you it is not up to you, you can be mad because canceling a date one minute before it is supposed to happen is really not fair. Still, in order to help your partner to live through the depression, stay patient.

– It is not your fault

No matter what you try to cheer them up, they are still dark or sad. It really can get boring or exhausting, but it might be just a period. Give your partner some space and try to avoid the fights or arguing to maintain your relationship. Depression is not something we choose to happen, so be aware that it is not your fault for your partner’s sadness.

– Don’t try to scare or blackmail them with a breakup or your leave

It won’t help them for sure; it can only make things even worse. If you are not sure that you can handle your depressed partner, you should end things without blackmailing. They don’t deserve someone to have manipulate them; they have enough problems to deal with already.

– Assure them that they are not alone in this

Usually people with depression want to be alone and deal with things alone. On the other side, if you are in a healthy relationship, let your partner to know that he or she is not alone. Be patient and try to offer your help. Most of the time they don’t accept it, but if they do, you will have a stronger and healthier connection.

– Don’t compare your problems with other people’s struggles

People have a need to relate their problems or tough situation to others. We want that because we need to share our bad days, but if we start to complain, we only make those people feel like we don’t completely understand them. If you are not feeling good and you say that to someone who starts complaining for even worse things, your problems become neglected and less important. It is unfair because you are not listening at all, but that is only thing that a person with depression needs.

– Make plans just for you two

Have a conversation and try to schedule time and do things that you both love. It can be a movie night, long walk, dinner, or anything that could cheer up your partner. Try to make that plan permanently with no excuses.

– You can’t connect depression and weakness

Even though it seems like people in depression are not in a mood to do anything but being alone, doing nothing for days, that is not true. There is an opinion that depressed people are actually very good when it needs to be creative or compassionate.

As we said, depression could last a certain period; it is not humiliation if you have depression. Also, you are definitely not frail. You aren’t someone who is not adequate for being in a relationship or in any other segment of life.

 

About the author

Naida

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