Being in an undefined relationship can sometimes take a toll on us more than a breakup. It leaves you confused and hurting. It leaves you doubtful towards love and people that claim they love you. But as bad as it sounds, there is still something to take away from it all.

These are life changing lessons that can be learned from an almost relationship.

If it’s a struggle, it won’t change any time soon.

From the beginning, there is nothing but hardship in your relationship. Don’t waste your time thinking it will get better. Relationships need work if you want them to last, but they shoudn’t be too much effort in regards to functioning in the first place.

When your are shown your partners true nature, believe it.

It’s the deeds that count. So don’t be fooled by the words. If your partner keeps talking as if you’re the most important, but does completely opposite, don’t try to justify it. They are who they are and they’re showing you their true self. Don’t doubt it for a second.

You’re not clingy or crazy for feeling strongly and letting it be known.

Being aware of your feelings and what you want out of the relationship is normal. You have right to expect those to be fulfilled. If your partner made you feel any differently because of it, it’s them who have issues, not you. It takes a mature person to handle feelings and talking about it. Running away from it says a lot about your partner’s levels of maturity.

It’s time to leave when you are not getting what you desire.

When you do your best to make it work, but nothing is happening and the relationship is far from where you want it to be, it’s time to quit it. You’re wasting your time on a person who doesn’t want the same things you do. Next time you’re in a situation like that, you will be able to recognize it on time. Instead of investing your energy in something that will fail, you can move on and go find yourself a partner who will be happy to commit.

You are not to blame.

Dealing with liars and cheaters can leave you doubting yourself and thinking you made them that way. Don’t fool yourself. There are better ways to handle it if they aren’t happy with you. You’re better off without people like that.

Sometimes it’s harder ending an almost relationship, than a real one.

Not getting a closure is always a serious hit for a person. But when your relationship wasn’t really a relationship at all, what is there to have a closure for? So getting over it can be a real hell.

You have right to feel crushed, even if others don’t get it.

You weren’t even official, what’s the deal there? Just because someone was too reluctant to put a label on it, doesn’t make it less real. You had feelings for them. And you saw a future for you two. You have right to be upset.

You grow as a person because of it.

After dealing with a person like that and heartbreak of this kind, you finally realize you deserve better. And after surviving the pain of it, you are strong enough to fight for what you need and deserve.

Once is enough.

Going through it once will be enough to learn to recognize the signs the next time they appear. You don’t want to suffer through something like that ever again, so you will make sure to leave immediately once you start seeing the same warning signs.

You can’t force anyone to fall for you.

You can try so much and be the most fabulous creature that walked the earth, if they’re not into you, you can’t change it. If they really want you, they will need no reasons to stay. They simply will. Otherwise, don’t try to fight it. If he wants to go, let him. There is someone out there more than happy to be yours as long as they breathe.

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