Your relationship is over. I know that is the last thing you want to hear right now, but it’s the sentence you need to be exposed to. It’s over and there is nothing you can do about it. Yes, you two loved each other deeply and you had beautiful moments together. It was memorable and unique. But all of that is gone now and it’s not coming back. It happened in the past and you must leave it there, whether you like it or not. All of those nice moments must be turned into beautiful memories and nothing else.
I know it hurts like hell. You are heartbroken into a thousand pieces and devastated is a small word to describe the state you are currently in. You feel an amount of pain you thought you could never possibly bare. But, you are baring it. You feel like the weight of the entire world has fallen on your shoulders. You feel the entire spectrum of negative emotions—you feel rage, anger, pain, sadness, disappointment… Sometimes, it hurts you so much that it seems that you are experiencing physical pain. You are struggling even to breathe properly, let alone to live an everyday life like nothing happened. Nothing has sense any more. You feel worthless and incomplete and the only thing that is keeping you alive is the hope that he will be back.
I hate to be the one who has to break it to you, but he won’t. Even if he does, do you really want to be with someone who made you feel miserable and who hurt you in so many ways? Even if you two get back together, the bitter taste of betrayal will forever stay in the back of your throat, and despite the fact you think otherwise, things would never be the same.
I know that you wish things could go back the way they were. But, sadly, they won’t. That part of your life is over. It is history and you can’t run away from that fact. You need to be strong and brave enough and face it. You need to look yourself in the mirror and repeat to yourself that it’s over. That is the first step in your recovery. The sooner you do it, the better. Because you’ll have to do it someday, and as long as you live in the past, in denial or in hope, you’ll never be able to move on.
Yes, it’s easier said than done. Our brains sometimes refuse to accept some information or facts to protect us from unbearable pain. You think everyone is lying when they say time heals all wounds. But, it really does. I know it’s hard and I know you think you can’t stand it. But, you will survive. And you’ll be tougher than ever. There will be more heartbreaks in your life, I won’t lie to you. But, from now on, you’ll know what to expect and you’ll know how to pick up the broken pieces of yourself.
If it is of any comfort, you are not alone in all of this. Yes, you don’t have him and you feel you don’t have anyone. But you still have the people who were a part of your life before he came along and who stayed by your side after he abandoned you. Besides, there doesn’t exist a person on this Earth who didn’t go through the exact same thing you are going through right now. And we all survived, didn’t we? Of course, there is always someone who will tell you they never suffered in love, because they wouldn’t allow themselves to get attached to another person so strongly. Trust me, they are all lying. These are the people who were hurt the most and whose pain changed them forever. Don’t allow yourself to become one of those people.
Allow yourself to suffer. There is nothing shameful about it and you shouldn’t hide your emotions. Grieve, mourn, scream, and cry as much as you need to. It’s perfectly normal to do so. You’ve lost a part of your personality—a part of yourself. You’ve lost someone who was a huge part of your life, someone you wanted to grow old with. You’ve lost the person who you thought was your soulmate. But, he obviously wasn’t. Because if he was, you two would still be together. If something was meant to be, it would have been.
You are only wasting your time thinking how your lives would have turned out if you guys stayed together. You are only harming yourself imagining all the possible scenarios of your future. You are also additionally hurting yourself by rewinding all of the moments you spent together. Every time you remember the happy moments you two had, you are only deepening your wounds.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should hold grudges. If you hold on to negative emotions, you are not allowing yourself to move on. What the two of you had was something special, and always try to think of it the way it was—a beautiful memory. Don’t hate him. Yes, he did hurt you badly. And yes, he probably doesn’t care about the state he left you in. But you are the one who chose him. This was the person you spent years with, and if you think bad about him, you automatically think bad about yourself and the person you were when you were in a relationship with him. So, find strength in yourself to forgive him, even if he never apologized. Because by forgiving him, you are letting him go and that is the only thing you need to do.
You may think you could have done more to keep him with you. But, deep down, you know you were the best girlfriend you could ever be. And if that is not enough for him, it’s his lost and not yours. You probably also ask yourself how could have he left you and how could he hurt you so much. But you will never get these answers. Some people are like that. They change or simply stop loving you. It’s their right and you have to accept it.
For you, he was the essence of happiness and I know it seems impossible to get back on track now. But, trust me, you will regain your peace and stability. And most importantly, you will regain your happiness.
You are stronger than you think, and although you don’t believe it, someday, this pain will appear foolish to you. You will realize that you are the only maker of your happiness and you will see that faith broke you two apart. Of course, faith was the one who brought the two of together, but it was for a reason. All of this happened so you can see how strong you really are. When some time passes, you’ll see you’ve learned a valuable lesson out of all this.
And someday, when the right guy comes along and when you bring your life to the place where it should be, you’ll be grateful for everything that happened now.
Yes, you probably see this breakup as the end of the world, but, it’s only the beginning of your life journey. Trust me, you will survive.