Mean or bad boys are devastating our lives, souls, and our mind. There are many different reasons why we let them waste our energy and emotions. Besides those reasons that have something to do with our psyche and feelings, there is something more to talk about. It is a biochemical aspect which we need to consider. We stuck with mean partners, toxic boys, and men with emotional blockade without actually being aware of it. Toxic boys and other bad men could be abusers, narcissistic, and people with bad influence and yet somehow we get obsessed with them. These connections are very insecure and dangerous, because once we try to get out of them, we end up damaged, without self-respect, and vulnerable for any unimportant thing that happens to us.
Did you ever ask yourself why you can’t break the connection with someone who is able to hurt you and humiliate you in every possible way? The more they behave disrespectfully to us, the more we are addicted to them. It does not matter how bad they are, or how they make you feel less consistent or with no worth, you need to hear only one nice thing from them, and you won’t hear anything else.
They know how to fool you with their inordinate watchfulness at one side while on the other side they can easily drag back and detain their emotions.
If you try to refuse and then to commit yourself to your toxic partner, you will be stuck in an unhealthy relationship with a toxic partner. When you decide to resist from a relationship, you will get hurt. When I said that, I mean literally you couldn’t stand that pain because your brain can’t resist from physical pain and when it compounds with a break up it is even worse and harder to get better.
These hormones and substances are entangled and we can connect them to your partner’s rights in your relationship and his dark conduct.
This chemical substance is responsible for all those great things in our relationship. Every positive experience that we had a chance to live through which includes all those romance, dating, sexual life can cause freeing of dopamine in our brains.
Dopamine works when our brain is more active. When you put this into a relationship, we get to the point that the less love your partner offers to you, the faster your brain works. It means that your feelings are higher if you have obstruction in your connection to partner. It is like addiction to some drugs.
Toxic partners are very scheduled. You never know what to expect when you are around them. It is very hard is to date someone who can be so sweet one moment and a real jerk another one. You only get uncertainty with them, and they keep you away from their future plans or ideas.
Our brain sees it tempting. The more insecure you are in their presence, love, and every single thing you do, the more your brain loves it. It doesn’t take some nice guy with care and honesty as interesting as the toxic guy who treats you nice one day and totally forgets you another day.
There is no releasing of dopamine in the presence of the nice guy, in other words, our brain is like addicted to pain and suffering. There is a lack of excitement when we get used to a healthy partner and a safe relationship. On the other side, toxic partners hove us back into a relationship because they press the reset button and then they offer any kind of thing to us. We, as victims of that poisoned circle, don’t really know when the next reset button is. That condition makes us want and desire for more. The more your partner is elusive to you, the more excited your brain is.
To understand the real effect of the dopamine, be aware that it is not because your mean boy is better for you from the nice guy. He is much worse than a nice guy. The only thing you need to know is that you resist from new pleasures and good boys because your brain wants satisfaction and pleasure with pain included.
When we are in a relationship, we connect with emotions just as with physical contact. Oxytocin is a hormone which is also named the “love” hormone. This hormone is responsible for your connection to a toxic boy or the one who has an emotional blockade. As far as we know this hormone is also responsible for your trust issues. What I want to say is no matter how hurt you are, you will still stick around a person who is hurting you. It works much better for women than men.
There is one more important thing to know. When you connect with your mean partner, toxic boy, or men with an emotional blockade, there is also a connection with emotions. These guys are often good in bed and our brain sees their warm-cold behavior interesting. And then we bond with them.
CORTISOL, ADRENALINE, AND NOREPINEPHRINE
These three are involved in how we react to a stress that we go through. In unhealthy relationships, we would rather avoid arguing and fights and choose to stay wordless. There are, though, many situations where we anyhow choose to fight.
You face with both – pleasure and displeasure. Once someone causes you stress, your stress hormones release and you are trying to find out who or what is responsible for that. You find out that your partner is guilty, but you know that he is your comfort zone as much as he is able to destroy you and your relationship.
You are stuck and certainly you don’t know the way out. There is a reason to abandon your partner, but you are afraid of it, it makes you anxious and frightened. On the other side, you have a physical connection with him and there is no chance to leave him, so you are left with no decision.
It is all connected and one condition of yours causes another and all of that has something to do with adrenaline, dopamine, etc. Fear and satisfaction are entwined with one another and it is constant thing.
Because of adrenaline, most couples who face with a fear or another way of releasing this hormone have the strongest connection. For the exact same reason, you have a need to connect to a toxic boy or someone who even abuses you. You can addict yourself to adrenaline.
After we fall in love, we face with the condition of a real obsessive person. The level of serotonin drops just as it drops in people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. That is the reason why you wait for the message or call from your loving person impatiently.
Mean partners or toxic boys have the ability to dominate over our minds. As we said, that is the reason why we want them even more.
Reduced levels of serotonin improves our sexual activities.
No matter that we may not understand that we are doing things against our will, there is still a chance to change in a positive way.
With the help of neuroplasticity we make new neurological relationships by training and having normal social connections. The recovery from bad guys can be achieved by replacing them with the healthy habits that feed us. To fall in love with a mean partner, toxic boy, or man with an emotional blockade is similar to becoming addicted to some drugs. In order to save yourself, it is necessary to remove yourself from the drug.