Being An Intelligent Woman, Why Can’t I Stop Doing Dumb Things When In Love?

stop doing dumb things when in love
Written by Aveline

I like to think I am a smart person. I am extremely perceptive and analytical. I am competent of starting and holding a meaningful and intelligent conversation. I see the world that surrounds me, and I am aware of it and other people in it.

So, for the life of me, why do I get so dumb when it comes to falling for someone? Why can’t I stop doing dumb things when in love? Where does my perceptive and intelligent self go? I guess there are some explanations for that, after all.

You can never know the “correct” solution.

Love is not physics. There is no formula for it to tell you how to approach the task ahead. So when you are put in front of a decision regarding a guy that just entered your life, there is nothing that can tell you if it was the right thing to do when you decided to accept his invitation, or if it was a huge mistake.

Being intelligent in general doesn’t make you street smart.

When you are put in front of a guy you have feelings for, all of the knowledge you have of literature, history, math, etc., goes out the window. Equations can’t help you understand people.

There’s nothing logical about falling in love.

From the different types of men you can be attracted to, to different characters they display. Sometimes, you will find yourself being completely into a guy you wouldn’t even look twice in your past. There is no logic when it comes to love or attraction.

Falling in love follows no rules.

Not even the certain set of relationship and dating rules. Yeah, sure, you’re not supposed to call for at least three days after a date, you’re also not supposed to cheat and lie. But people still follow that rule that’s actually stupid and break the important one, that should be followed at all costs. There isn’t any constant you can rely on and it’s maddening.

I am an overthinker.

It doesn’t have to be a bad characteristic. It’s certainly good when thinking through life and career decisions. But when it comes to deciding anything love related, even something as stupid as the content of the message I am about to send, it’s straight up torture. And overthinking it usually makes me pick the wrong thing.

I listen more than I talk.

Which is good in general, but not so much on a date. Guys are mostly not as talkative as girls usually are, so they will probably rely on us to lead the conversation until the situation relaxes. So, when I appear, all silent and judgy, they automatically come to the conclusion that I am not really into them anyways.

This time of technology is making it harder.

People are liars as it is. Everything going through messages of various apps is making it easier to be dishonest. It’s complicating our efforts to bring a smart decision when you can never be sure if they are telling you the truth.

I might think I am too smart.

Being aware of your intelligence can be a bad thing. For example, when you decide to listen to yourself because you’re so damn smart. Instead, you should have taken advice from a person that actually knows their stuff when it comes to dating and relationships. Your instinct is not always right.

Finding a guy was never my priority.

And since I never really bothered to figure out guys or to learn how to handle certain situations, I can’t really make any educated decisions when it comes to love. So, I guess those are the reasons I do dumb things when in love, even if I am intelligent enough when it comes to other fields of life.


About the author