It doesn’t matter who are you in your core and what you look like. You don’t have to be beautiful or you can be so amazing, it still doesn’t matter because you can’t explain some things to yourself. There is no one who is able to explain where you went wrong. What is it that you did that made him think you were not good enough? What is the most important reason he chose someone else instead of being with you?
There are no answers to these questions. You were perfect. It is not anything like your looks or your job or personality. Just the opposite, you are very successful, you have a great job, you are confident and committed when it needs.
If it were up to anyone but him, you would be perfect matching. No one would spot your flaws. There is nothing in the world that is wrong with you if you are able to live your life and enjoy it, to be open to new ideas, to have the desire to progress and improve yourself.
So let’s face it with who you are. How can a person like you ever get enough of him? How can any woman let herself not put an effort in being with him? Even if you don’t have any flaw at all, you still can’t get enough of him.
The thing is very simple. He is one very specific being. He is a kind of guy who does not want to give himself into something. At least not the way you want him to. This kind of guy is attractive because he will never settle down deeply. He will never show you how much he appreciates your presence. These guys also don’t want you to find out how emotional they are. The kind of love that they have is very specific and you know that and that is why you can’t get enough of him.
These guys are very afraid of any connection. If they connect to a person, they quickly become afraid that they might reject themselves.
There are not many guys like this one. And to make things more complicated, there are many women who belong to these category of specific people. They are always trying to find troubles in dating and they can’t stand the fact that someone might be near to perfection. Also, they have high standards and they expect too much when getting into a relationship so they mostly end disappointed because you didn’t fulfill their expectations. So they remain alone.
It is certainly not an excuse, but you still need to be committed to someone, you need to be aware that there are some responsibilities in a relationship. You need to keep trying, to make an effort, to give your best and be a better person. You are not perfect just like no one is, and that fact means that you don’t get to be selfish and that you make mistakes. But still you are making an effort to maintain good things and good relationships.
Even though you are the best possible version of yourself in the relationship, you can be stuck with a person who doesn’t see you as good and who can’t love you back. Someone can deny your good and refuse to love you and accept you because that is easier than to open up and accept the fact that there is not a perfect human. They find it easier to believe that you are not good for them so they can avoid a situation where someone can hurt them.
So, don’t try to change them. Don’t waste your time by trying to fix them because you will end up disappointed. You are who you are and try to refuse to change yourself for someone who still doesn’t want to be with you. There is no chance that you are missing something and that you need to change yourself.
If a person finds you attractive and decides to love you for who you are, he would not expect you to change yourself for him, and you won’t need to find what is wrong about you. Normal would be to appreciate you, and he would aspire to make you a better person with each day, to bring all of your good from you. He should be proud of you and make you happier. He should inspire you to be better, and he should support you in trying to do that. Moreover, he should never force you to feel trapped in your own mind in order to make him satisfied and pleased.
You will know for sure who your real love is. You won’t have to change yourself because you are a completely finished person. There is you who will be enough for someone. You will also know for sure how someone is enough for you. In the end, that is what real love actually is.