At this moment, there are billions of girls and women who are in love. And they all think that their love is more special, more important, and more unique than everyone else’s. I’m one of those girls. And for the first time ever, I am not ashamed of it.
I have told you all about me and my past. I think you know me more than I know myself. You know how many times I have been hurt and how I suffered and finally, how I was afraid. You also know that I lost faith in love, you know how closed I became, how I didn’t trust anyone, how petrified I was to love. You know I have decided not to let anyone in, you know that I wanted to spend my life alone, inside my armor shell. And then you came along.
I know that all of these may sound as corny romantic bullshit, and I am even surprised that I am the one saying it, but you felt like home. You made me feel like my favorite childhood memory. For the first time in years, since I can even remember, I felt I belonged with someone. With only one look, you have managed to tear down all of the walls I thought were so strong and firmly built. They have all disappeared and it was like they never existed the moment you appeared.
Even if I live a hundred lives, I will never be able to explain to myself how come I knew. Before I met you, I never believed people when they said they knew their soulmates the moment it happened. And, the exact thing happened to me. The moment I laid my eyes on you, I just knew you are the one. You looked so familiar. For some inexplicable reasons, I felt more connected to you than to anyone in my life before. And it had nothing to do with physical appearance and the fact that I was madly attracted to you. This was something on a higher spiritual level. It’s like my soul recognized yours. Maybe it’s because they were searching for each other for so long. And suddenly, everything made sense and everything felt right. For the first time in years, I knew I was just where I needed to be. Everything that happens to us has a purpose, and the moment I met you was the exact moment I realized this. Every wrong and toxic person and every wrong life choice and decision were worth it because they brought me to you. If I have done anything different in the past, I wouldn’t have been at that place in that time and I wouldn’t have met you. And my life wouldn’t have had any sense whatsoever.
You were the first guy in my life I was interested in and didn’t feel excited about, the first guy that didn’t give me butterflies. You may think that is bad and that I wasn’t in love with you. Maybe I wasn’t. I probably loved you from the very beginning. I have loved you, not knowing why, how and from when. Suddenly, everything seemed so clear. It was like I saw the true colors of the world for the first time ever. You felt like more than a lover, more than a friend—you felt like family. Actually, you felt like the other part of me, the part that was missing all along, the part that I needed to be complete.
I feel strong, brave, and self-confident around you. And that is why I know this is the real deal, because you changed me although you never asked me to change. I think it is because I have always felt incredibly calm and secure around you. I felt I could be me. Your arms have been my refuge since day one. No matter what is worrying me, as long as I hear your voice, it brings me this unexplainable tranquillity and I just know that everything will work out. I am never ashamed to break in front of you, because I know you will be there to pick up the pieces and put me back together. When I am with you, I feel relieved, I feel that all of the weight from my shoulders is gone in an instant. You are my safe place, my haven.
So, when someone asks me to describe my feelings to you, I simply say you feel like home. Because that is the only phrase that can encompass the depth of my feelings towards you.