We often struggle to read our partner’s minds, especially when we’re dating a man. Men are naturally less communicative of their feelings, and it can be impossible to gauge what your boyfriend wants. Whether it’s where they want to eat on date night, or where their heart is at emotionally, it’s often information they’re unwilling to give up without a fight. When it comes to communication, it’s vital you keep it up so you know exactly where you are in your relationship, which can be hard when your partner is unwilling to give up their emotions. However, there are ways to get to know your partner better and figure out what they want from you and your relationship. Here are some of our tips for an insight into your boyfriend’s complex mind:
Read their body language
You can learn a lot about what your boyfriend wants from the way they react. If they’re leaning in close, then they want to be intimate with you. The same goes for if they keep finding ways to touch you and make skin contact. However, if they’re keeping their distance, crossing their arms across their chest or hugging their knees, they could be feeling defensive, unsociable or guilty. You can’t understand everything just from how they’re positioned, but it helps to be able to guess, and then you can question them on their behaviour if it’s negative.
Ask them questions
You probably can’t get much of an insight into what your boyfriend wants without asking them. It’s best to try and remain open and honest in any relationship, even if generally the pair of you keep your feelings to yourself. If you keep negative feelings locked up in your head, it inspires negativity between the two of you, so it’s best to question them as soon as possible about what’s happening in their head. Even when things seem to be going well, checking in every now and then keeps you up to date, and it reminds your boyfriend that you care about them and their emotions.
Encourage them to open up
It’s hard work asking someone to keep telling you how they’re feeling. Encourage your boyfriend to open up and tell you what he wants. The more he does it, the more naturally it will come to him. Men can often feel vulnerable when they admit their feelings out loud, so make sure you create a safe environment around you so that he feels comfortable. If you have a particularly quiet or shy partner, think of ways they can express themselves in other ways. They could write their thoughts down in a letter for you, or do something creative to express themselves. It might seem silly, but there are many types of communication, and if your partner struggles to reach out to you, a non-conventional approach may be necessary.
Recognise that what your boyfriend wants may change
A person never wants the same thing all the time. People change, and their minds change with them. Your boyfriend could be harbouring all sorts of thoughts you never expected to occur to him, especially if he’s acting the same as always. Unfortunately, you’re never going to be handed a map to his complex mind. You have to investigate how his feelings change for yourself. If you suspect he’s having doubts about your relationship, encourage him to talk it out before his negative feelings fester and destroy your partnership. Keep up to date with his emotional status, and you’ll never be surprised by what he has to say next.