Heartbreak Love Relationships

If He Extinguishes the Fire Inside of You, It is Not the True Love and It Never was

Written by Naida

Did you ever have to wonder how to release the greatest and the worst love of your life? These look like very opposite things but you almost made it. You were in a relationship in which you had one simple task – to make your partner happy, and to underestimate yourself in order to make him feel great. But it is not the true love.

You had to face real pain yet you are still alive. The love that you were giving was unconditional, and you were forgiving things that no one could. You were noble and unselfish but after a break up of that relationship you were left in so much pain.

The process you needed to deal with was all but simple. That was the hardest thing you ever had to do in life. To walk away. You miss your significant other half more with each day that comes. It’s like you had a dream, it becomes so distant and you actually forget happiness you once experienced.

But there is something you learned from the pain; there is no universal truth for a relationship like yours was. You cannot heal unhealthy relationship.

There are some boundaries that you can never cross. Yet you gave much more than your partner deserved. Many times you loved and forgave even if you didn’t have to. Your partner felt true love from you and he got used to the situation that no matter what he does, you will forgive him. Even if he does not deserve it at all, you were the one who forgives. When he insulted you, when he crossed boundaries, you were the one who forgives.

So far, you experienced many losses. Here and there you may have lost a friend or someone in your family; the point is you know how to deal with losing. You know how much you can bear.

You were strong then and you will surely stay strong. The thought of yours is that you had a person who is beautiful, nice, and attentive. He was your soulmate. But you didn’t see the end with your partner; you couldn’t even imagine how strange he became. You gave your best by being strong, giving love and patience. Your love was infinite, just like your forgiveness. Even though you had to experience loss, you never let it be your fault.

You realize now, but you didn’t realize back then how weak you were anytime you forgave him over and over again.

You were weak in your beliefs, because you truly wanted to believe how you still can fix your relationship, even if there was nothing to assure you in that. There was no chance for you to face the reality that you deserve better. You still believe in love, but in this relationship you you thought he couldn’t handle the love you were giving to him. Your endless forgiveness means that you are able to compromise parts of yourself, trying to make the person you love a better one.

You didn’t break you partner, you also didn’t fix him and you won’t ever be able to define him. The only person who can make a contribution to his own personal growth is himself.

It’s no matter now how strong and powerful your love was. It is also no matter how many times you forgave. All tears now don’t matter.

There is one main difference between the fight you are ready for in a relationship and the self-aware destruction of yourself for someone. You are noble and selfless if you want to fight for your love. But when you destroy yourself for someone, you are breaking many good qualities that you have in an effort to give them to a person who probably doesn’t deserve it at all.

You need to make compromises with yourself when entering a relationship. You can’t allow yourself to give all of you. And you will end up hurt and alone once again. It is not the true love and it never was.

The truth is, love is worth the risk. Your love is huge, sincere, and deep. However, loving someone means also you should never lose yourself while loving someone else. Don’t forgive unconditionally, because through the time you will not only lose love for yourself, but you will lose yourself.

About the author