When you finally get a hold of that great relationship you were waiting for, it is easy to get too comfortable, thinking nothing can go wrong now. Or quite the opposite, maybe you never seem to stop waiting for it to go wrong. Whichever it might be, neither of those are healthy.
These are the things to avoid to make your relationship long-lasting.
Stop expecting for it to fall apart.
If you enter the relationship and you already sentenced it to failure, you can be sure that’s exactly what will happen. When you and your partner start going through some turbulence that’s a normal part of every relationship, you will use it to back up your conviction of inevitable downfall that awaits the two of you.
When the time comes to push harder and work through any issues you might be having, you will fail to do it. The reason for that will be the fact that you already labeled it as a failed relationship before it even had the chance to actually fail. You can’t expect for it to work if you gave up on it before it ever began. So, until you figure out how to steer clear of such blatant self-sabotage, it would be wise to avoid relationships completely.
Do not fool yourself into thinking love is enough.
If you want your relationship to be a long-lasting one, better be aware that it is not enough to just love. Sometimes, people can madly love each other, but they still fail in making it work between them.
If you want your relationship to be a success, there has to be respect and fulfillment present. When you realize that you want to be with them all the time, that you can talk to them about anything because they are your friend too, that is when you can be sure it will last.
Do not play games.
Never resort to childish behavior when it comes to any issues you might have in that relationship. Be vocal about what is bothering you instead of moping around when they offend you in some way, and then moping around some more when they don’t figure out something is off. Especially if you insisted on claiming you’re fine, when you’re actually not.
You are angry, hurt, or disappointed? Say it. No one can read your mind. Leaving it unaddressed leads to holding grudges. It leads to a buildup of negative emotions that will eventually blow up in both of your faces when you least expect it. Most likely when you are having a little discussion over something that is not such a big deal in reality.
So, talk it over, find a common solution. Communication is the key.
Stop being jealous.
Whether you are the jealous one or your partner is, that is not how to make your relationship last. If you find yourself in a relationship like that, see it as a sign to leave immediately. There is nothing loving about possessiveness.
If you are the one being jealous, it can be for two reason. Either you have trust issues because of you past partners’ betrayal, or your current partner is really not to be trusted.
If former is the case, it is time to find it in you to get over it. Being in a relationship with an honest person but treating them like they are undeserving of your trust is unhealthy for both of you and can only end badly.
If the latter is a more accurate description of your partner and you think they are shady and prone to betraying you, why do you want to date a person like that anyway? If there is no trust, the relationship cannot last.
Do not settle for less.
Settling is not the way to achieve a long-lasting relationship. No one has ever been happy in a relationship they settled for.
The only way to make it a long-lasting one is to make sure you are happy with what your partner has to offer. Equal contribution is important for a successful relationship.
Stop believing you cannot be happy on your own.
It is hard to resist submitting everything in your life to your loved one. But that can easily result in losing yourself, which is bound to make you miserable. If you are miserable, you can’t really make your partner happy or willing to stay as long as possible.
Do not forget who you were before, when you were on your own. Your partner fell in love with the past you. While changing over the course of time is inevitable, and you will not be the same person they fell in love with anyways, that change is a bad thing only if it was for the worse.
What matters is that you work on making sure the part of you that enjoyed life, that was happy without depending on anyone else, never changes.
So, don’t forget to take care of your well-being. You have to nourish the person you are, because happy people are bound to make anyone want to stay. It is also a great way to attract the right kind of people in your life and make them stick around.