You may ask what actually is a demisexual? A demisexual is a person who doesn’t experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It’s actually a cross between sexuality and asexuality. It doesn’t mean a person doesn’t have sexual desires or that they don’t want a loving relationship, but that a person needs to establish a strong emotional connection.

To give you the whole picture, I will describe 13 signs that show you are a demisexual.

Your relationships start with friendship.

You find it incredibly important to have a strong emotional bond with a person before you can become romantically involved. For you, it’s much more important to be friends with someone before you even think of dating them. When you look back on your previous relationships, all of your exes were your friends first. You are focused on getting to know someone before dating them. What matters to you is an emotional connection.

The idea of sex doesn’t always necessarily turn you on.

You like sex, but sex in itself isn’t automatically going to be a turn-on for you. Sometimes, the idea of sex just doesn’t appeal to you. This is because you see sex as a physical manifestation. Emotional bonds are more important and premium for you than physical ones. When it comes to a committed relationship, it is going to be different.

Sleeping together is better than sex.

To establish a physical warmth with a person, you find cuddling someone much more satisfying. You love intimacy but sleeping together and cuddling is what makes you happier than the physical act of sex.

The idea of a one night stand grosses you out.

You find it meaningless and you just don’t see the point of having sex with strangers. You can’t understand how can someone find pleasure from that kind of experience. You don’t think about yourself as a prude, you just don’t like it and that’s okay. I hate the idea of a one night stand, too. I can’t understand how can someone can feel satisfaction from a single night of physical intimacy with a stranger. We just have a need for an emotional connection.

Before lust comes love.

Many people are attracted to others by their physical appearance and confuse love with lust. For you, it’s different: before you think of a person as physically attractive, you have to love them. You aren’t the same because you are motivated by love in your relationship.

You can’t always understand your friends.

In talks that concern relationships and sex, you can’t relate to your friends. You just can’t understand how someone can say that they would love to shag a sexy waiter at the bar. That’s not what you would ever think. You tend to see someone as kind or charming not as hot or sexy. You are describing a person by their personality traits much more than how they look. Your approach to relationships is unique and rare.

Your priority in a relationship isn’t sex.

Modern relationships are actually based on exciting and active sex, but you can date someone for months without having sex. Sex is great, but it isn’t something you feel you need to have four times a week.

You are more turned on by a person’s personality.

You are looking for a person whose personality is compatible yours. It’s just that you want to date a person who is intelligent and kind not a person who is hot and looks good. The look is always going to take a backseat to a person’s character.

People know you as too picky.

It’s not that you are actually too picky, but it takes a lot for you to reach the point of actually liking someone. When you don’t feel anything for the people who hit on you, you just don’t! You want a real connection and that’s all.

When you like someone it’s a big deal.

You don’t crush on lots of attractive people and when you feel something for someone it’s a huge deal. It’s so rare! You don’t take feelings and emotions for granted, neither yours nor someone else’s. Attraction to someone for you is really important.

You don’t run away from commitment.

You know that commitment is inherent in a strong relationship. Being demisexual doesn’t mean you’re running out on dates or unable to deal with relationships, it’s just that you need time before getting into a relationship. You find it a privilege to find and meet a person you’d want to commit yourself to.

A quality conversation is better than getting laid.

You would rather have a deep conversation with someone than a long night in the bedroom. To you, the key to building a strong emotional connection is communication. If someone can reach you on the mental and emotional level, they are precious to you.

You don’t do flirting.

It’s not how you approach relationships. You are not the type who would go out searching for a potential person at the bar. A relationship is a result of friendship you two develop.

You don’t care much about porn.

You aren’t asexual, but you just need more than sexual images. Your relationship needs to be with someone with whom you feel connected. Sex is going to be more than great with a person you have a strong emotional connection.

Are you a demisexual?