It is pretty hard to make sure you are choosing your partner for all the right reasons. Sometimes, being in love can make us oversee the things that could thrash what we built in the blink of an eye. That is why you should know these ten things about choosing the right person for you.
Don’t stick around someone out of fear of staying alone.
If you choose to stick around a person out of fear, especially out of fear of loneliness, you are setting a trap for yourself. Because that is how you settle for less than what you deserve and get stuck in unhappy or unhealthy relationships. And trust me when I tell you, being lonely is better than being stuck in a miserable relationship.
Don’t commit too soon either.
I know what it’s like when you hit it off with someone immediately. You do not see a single reason for not going with it when you have such an amazing connection. Well, I will tell you why. People are rarely the way they seem at the beginning. After a while you might discover things that are not so good or some serious deal breakers. But, by the time you do, you have already fallen in too deep, and getting out of there will be heartbreaking, or maybe even impossible. You might already be so emotionally invested that it will impair your judgment, and you will find yourself trying to justify unacceptable behaviors. That is why you have to be careful and keep your feet tightly on the ground until you get to know the person well enough to make a proper decision.
Don’t pass on people you don’t consider your type.
You might be surprised. I have had the chance to experience firsthand what that is like. Have you ever noticed how people can seem more attractive to you because of their personality? Well, giving a chance to someone I would normally completely ignore proved to be a real jackpot! If you stop avoiding people that are not usually your type, you are doubling your chances of finding someone just perfect for you!
Don’t blindly hold on to your standards.
If you happen to have a specific idea of what your partner should look like and behave like, and you refuse to deviate from it for even a little, I suggest you drop it. First of all, it is impossible, and you know it. Second, when people like that focus on finding the partner that checks all the boxes, they fail to notice all the things that are huge red flags when they finally find someone even close.
If you do have to have a list, don’t focus on trite things.
I understand you might want to have a partner that is a great dancer or a very funny man, but let’s face it. None of those are important for a stable relationship. Instead, put things like honesty, kindness, and morality on that list. Because if you find a partner that lacks those qualities but is a great comedian, you will hardly be happy in that relationship. What use do you have if he makes you laugh, when all his other qualities are about to make you cry?
Don’t be lead by passion.
Oh, that chemistry. It has the ability to make you turn a blind eye to all sorts of mistakes. I get it, it is not something to pass up on, because it is rare to have it and get to keep it in a relationship. It is wonderful, but at the same time it is extremely problematic because it makes us confuse passion with love. There is nothing wrong with passion and lust, as long as they come in package with love, but on their own, they can be a cause behind a lot of reckless decisions.
Don’t mix up being crazy about your partner with your partner making you crazy.
It is important to differentiate between feeling strongly in love and falling for an emotionally abusive person. When you fall in love for someone who ignores you and manipulates you, you might be lead to submit your whole life to making them notice you and give you their approval. Your thoughts will be filled with nothing else but this person. And that is why you might try to justify it as simply being head over heels for them. That kind of emotional abuse is never about love.
Don’t be with anyone that doesn’t appreciate you being yourself.
This has probably been repeated thousands of times, but that’s probably because it’s true. There is no better feeling than knowing that the person you committed to is someone who loves every weird, little thing about you and just wants you to be the way you are. What can be better than being yourself without being judged?
Don’t wait for people to change.
If a person hasn’t gotten themselves together by that point in their life, they never will. Stop wasting your time on someone who treats you badly and doesn’t care enough about you to change their ways. Staying in that relationship any longer only puts you in a risk of missing the right one, because you were too busy trying to fix someone who is obviously wrong for you.
Don’t forget to have fun and enjoy your life.
If you forget to enjoy yourself while pursuing the person right for you, you will only make yourself miserable. And while being in such a state, you can never attract the right kind of people. You will soon realize that the only people that feed on your misery will keep finding their way towards you.
Enjoy your life. Only by being a fulfilled and happy person you can attract equally happy people, worthy of your love. And among them, you just might find the one you have been looking for all this time!