Heartbreak Love

How To Forget First Love

how to forget first love
Written by Chloe M.

A first love is always hard to forget. You probably had your first kiss with them. You may have only made love to them in your life. You have so many memories of them that every time you close your eyes, they’re there. You definitely enjoyed this relationship more than any that came previously, and you felt a deep connection with your partner. It’s a new feeling, and an exciting one. You can barely figure out how to handle it, and then before you’ve figured it out, the relationship is over.

When you try to forget first love altogether, the task seems impossible. Love isn’t meant to be forgotten – it’s meant to be eternal. You might hate it, but the fact is, you will never forget first love completely. You will always have a memory of what happened between you. What matters is what you remember and how you remember it.

Getting over a first love is one of the hardest things you may ever do emotionally. You will feel the effects of heartbreak for the first time. You will feel lost, betrayed, dismayed – every bad word in the dictionary you can think of, you will feel it. However, though it’s not easy to figure out how to forget first love, it is possible. If you need help with that, you’ve come to the right place. Here are some of the best ways to forget first love.

Look to the future

Leaving a person behind doesn’t mean that your life should come to a standstill. Even though you’ll need some time to mope and mourn, you need to propel yourself onwards at some point. When you look to the future, ask yourself what you see. Are you seeing yourself happy, or are you still moping after a relationship that ended long ago? You know which version of yourself you’d rather be, and only you can make that a possibility. You need to take control of your own destiny – put your chin up high and prepare for a better future without them. It might take a while to come around to the idea, but you have to make the future seem like a place you want to head to, or you will be inclined to stay stuck in the past.

If there is nothing enticing there, make it enticing! Plan some events that you can look forward to, and make sure that none of it involves romance for a while. When your heart is healing, you need to let it be free of romantic love until you’re better. Instead, surround yourself with your friends and family and make this period of time an opportunity to appreciate them. They will be your support system while you heal, and they deserve your love and attention more than some guy that broke your heart.

Going through a break up is tough, there’s no doubt about it. However, more and more people are choosing to see it as a time of freedom and new-found happiness. It’s a time that can be very positive for some people as they figure out how to live on their own and experience their best self yet. Don’t give up on being happy just because you’ve lost one thing – add something new to your life that will fill the space. Figure out what it is that makes you happy and choose something that doesn’t require the support of someone else. This is your solo mission and you should make the most of it.

Pack up the past

After a mourning period, you need to be prepared to remove all remnants of the past from your life. This is often about physical items that remind you of them, and it’s the best way how to forget first love. Take down all the photographs you have of you and your partner. Put away any gifts they bought you, or birthday cards they wrote, or any clothes they haven’t come back to collect. Put it all in a box, but don’t get rid of it until you have a clear head. You don’t want to abandon all those memories, no matter how much they hurt. Keep them out of sight and out of mind for a while. You might decide later on that you want to sift through them and think about how life got better as well as the things you still miss a little.

When you’re ready, you can always go back to them and relive the moments that made you happy. You’ll know when the time feels right. Looking back in anger can tarnish those memories forever, so remember to wait until it feels natural to take a trip down memory lane. If you do decide to, don’t dwell for too long. Remember that you’re better off now than you ever were with your first love, and now all you have to do is accept and move on. You can remember your first love fondly, but the best method of how to forget first love is to keep that box of his things locked away for good.

Write letters and lists

Sometimes, you need to open up your heart, but you might be too scared to talk to someone in person about such raw emotions. That’s why good old pen and paper can come in handy. When it comes to how to forget first love, writing letters and lists is very therapeutic. You can write down all your feelings in the letters, and perhaps even address them to your ex. Of course, these letters are just for your eyes. No one should ever be allowed to read them. If you plan to show your friends, you will never write what you really feel. These letters have to be from the bottom of you heart for them to work properly. Otherwise, what good will they do? It’s important to keep it raw and real or you will never rid yourself of the feelings inside.

Think of it like a diary entry, with no intention of ever letting anyone else read it. It’s a good emotional release, and you can do it for as long as it takes to write everything down. Some people do it for months and years after a traumatic or difficult event, and no one has to know that it’s an important part of your life. On the days where you feel your best, you might not write one. Some days, you will relapse and turn back to letter writing, and that’s okay too. No matter how frequently or not you decide to write a letter, it’s the perfect method of how to forget first love and the keen sting it left on your heart.

As for lists, you can use them to remind yourself why you’re better off now than you were in the relationship. This isn’t a good way to learn how to forget first love, as you keep bringing them to the forefront of you mind. It is, however, a perfect way to get all of your thoughts out of your system. Make a pros and cons list of your old relationship, and you will most likely manage to find more cons to when you were together. Though you might not have accepted it at the time, there was a good reason the pair of you didn’t work out. When you’re deep in love, you don’t see the issues staring you right in the face, but the chances are, your first love saw the cracks in you. Once you admit to yourself what they were, you will find it easier to learn how to forget first love. Even though the new things you discover in this process might make you angry, don’t give in to bitterness. Instead, just think of the positive effects your breakup has had for you. A breakup is all about positivity and learning to appreciate what you had and what you have now for what it is. You can’t change the past, but you can edit your attitude towards it, and that’s what matters.

Remember that first love isn’t your only love

You will love again. It’s inevitable. It might not feel like it after a breakup, but you will, and possibly soon! Your heart heals at its own speed, but give it a few months, and you’ll find your ready for whatever life throws your way again. Some people take a longer path. There are people who take years to heal fully, but it doesn’t mean they don’t date new people and have good experiences. It just means that since some things are hard to accept, they stay with you a lot longer. This is usually true of someone who still spends time with their ex, or has seen them date someone else up close, or was abused and let down by the person they called their first love. But in the end, it doesn’t matter what situation has led you to the breakup. What matters is it is over, and patching up the wound in your heart will propel you towards happier times. How long it’ll take to work, no one can tell. Be prepared for the long haul if you’re a sensitive soul.

But if you’re struggling with how to forget first love, you must never let the whole thing take over your life. For now, remember that love isn’t the only highlight of a well-lived life. There are plenty of other things to bring light to your day, and you just have to decide which of those things you want to prioritise and give weight to. When you decide how you choose to be happy, you will become more fulfilled right away and lead a better life.

Find new love

It’s not something you actively need to seek. Many people think they have to hunt it down all the time, searching high and low for someone who will care. If your break up with your first love was particularly difficult, you might feel like you’ll never find love again unless you look for it. You might try out hundreds of dating websites and still never find someone that it’ll work with. It’s not the best way to approach love, and if you’re still learning how to forget your first love, you don’t want to fall in love with someone new who isn’t right for you.

Love will come to you when the time is right. Be patient and stop agonizing over when and where you will find someone new. Don’t expect that it’s about to happen just because you feel like you’re ready, or it’s been a while. The details don’t matter – all you need to know is it will come your way when the time is right, and probably when you least expect it. Try not to read between the lines too much – if someone likes you and wants to be with you, they’ll let you know how they feel in their own time. It’s best to forget relationships for a while and try to experience good single life in your young years.

Listen to your friends

Right now you probably feel like no one understands you. You’ve probably convinced yourself that you’re the only person to have ever felt this way, but you’re not. Whether your friends have been in relationships or not, they care about you, and they will help you remember a life before your love. You used to laugh and smile all of the time, and now you always feel sad and withdrawn without your first love. You keep asking your friends how to forget first love, but you’re probably not listening to their advice properly. It’s time to perk up your ears and pay attention to what they have to say.

You’ve known your best friend for years, and they recall a time when you were happy, long before you were making memories with your man. They will help you remember too, and even though you have been convinced for years that you need a man to be happy, you’ll realise that it’s a naïve thought to have. Your friends are just as important to having a happy and fulfilled life, so you should give them the time of day when they try to teach you how to forget first love.

A real friend be able to just take care of you until one day, years down the line, you don’t even remember your first love’s name. If your ex wasn’t a good guy, a friend will know best how to make you see that from their perspective. Utilize your support system of pals – it’s worth a try!

How to forget first love – don’t

You don’t need to know how to forget first love, because you know deep down that you don’t want to forget. It was one of the highlights of your life so far, and you learned so much from it. You will have made mistakes during, and that’s okay. It all contributes to who you are, and you know not what to do in the future. You have such a long way to go yet on the road to romance, so don’t give up yet. You have so much to look forward to.

About the author

Chloe M.