For most people who are sensitive and empathetic, it takes a long time to understand that someone simply doesn’t deserve a place in their life. If you are one of those people, you know what I’m talking about. You just have a destructive habit that gives you the urge to help everyone around you and try to fix everybody. This is how you get stuck with toxic and negative people. You cling to those people and allow them to get the best of you and to literally drain life out of you. Although you should be proud of yourself for being such a good person, you must admit that this starts to get out of your control.
You give yourself too much in everything you do. You are not capable of doing or feeling anything with half of your heart. And you give yourself 100% to everyone around you. You always put everyone else’s needs first. But many people in your life tried to use you, thanks to your kindness. People see you as a shoulder to cry on and as someone who will always have their back and be there for them, no matter what.
After a while and after numerous disappointments, you finally manage to realize that some people are not worth it. They are toxic and only bring negativity to your life and are not worth your time, effort, and energy. They are not worthy of you. In the beginning, you give your best and try to fix them. No matter what they do and how they treat you, you always find a way to justify them. But, as time passes by, you learn that some people cannot be healed. They can just drag you into their negativity. So you decide to cut these toxic and narcissistic people out of your life.
But you realize it’s much easier said than done. You can delete them from social media and avoid every form of contact, but you can’t delete those people from your mind. You simply don’t know how to let go of someone. And you hold on to people, memories, places… until there is nothing left of your relationship. Even when you see that someone is bad for your mental health and that someone is emotionally using you, you keep trying to make the best out of that person and out of your relationship.
You don’t know when it’s time to quit. You begin to think that you are masochistic because you can’t explain why you are doing this to yourself, you can’t realize that you haven’t learned your lesson. But, you simply expect too much out of people. You see the best in everyone and you have the uncontrollable urge to help and save everyone. No matter how toxic someone is, you believe that deep down, there is a nice person, waiting to be discovered.
When you try to cut someone off, you feel guilty for it, because you feel like they need you and you feel you have betrayed them. You are afraid that you will be the one perceived as the bad guy, after everything that you have been through. And be prepared that they will blame you and try to make you feel guilty. You should feel everything but that. You know you have tried everything and gave the best possible version of yourself. That was more than enough and more than anyone else would do.
Don’t blame yourself for trying either and for taking too long to move on from some people. It takes incredible strength and energy to cut someone out of your life and it’s never easy. But it’s time to start putting yourself first. You don’t need anyone who harms you in any way. So start loving and appreciating yourself. Learn to recognize toxic and negative people and learn to distance yourself from them. Be brave and strong and cut all the strings you have with them. The only way to set your heart and mind free is to lose that enormous weight you carry on your shoulders. Learn to love and respect yourself and don’t put up with anyone who doesn’t do the same.