When You Are Trying To Get Over Someone You Never Dated

There has to be a time when you are getting to the point apropos you realize there is no bright future for you and your untried love. Keep saying that with each day that comes in order to get it and move forward. You are close to the person you are not meant to be with and you clearly see them moving on, happy and without guilt at all. Perhaps they don’t even know about your feelings. As soon as you realize that you are not going to be together, at least not the way you want to, you will stop wasting your time with vain hope. Once you had those dreams and planned future to love and to be loved, but suddenly you find yourself in the real world in which you are far away from the dream. Most of the time in life you don’t have bright endings or a happy duration. Perhaps you are aware of it now.

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    If you don’t feel comfortable with seeing your untried love, try to avoid him. It can be on social media, or at the places you both visit daily. Try to erase as many memories including some pictures and messages as you can, to be sure that you are not expecting anything anymore. Life is short and you are spending it by dealing with the person who makes you actually feel bad. In their encirclement you feel so emotional and you realize that there is no chance to change the things or that person. So, in order to feel better for your own good, try to remove him or her from your sight. Learn how to throw away things and people that don’t fit you.

    Try to remove all talks you two had, even if you had some twisted plans about your future. If you were the center of the planning, it would be hard to erase it from your mind. Maybe it would be easier for you if you realized how easy your person got over it. You had those dreams about a big house or apartment in the center of the city, occasional travel, nights spent together eating popcorn and watching movies. The truth is that those plans are made with him or her. Now that you know it’s not going to happen with them, try to have in mind that you still can have a big house and go travel, alone or with someone else. Life plans can remain the same, only people around you might have changed. To be honest it’s all but easy, because being with someone else and making plans with them is something you never wanted. Yet, try not to lose your dreams, because this is your own life and you need to learn to live it the way you want. The less you depend on someone, the better your life can be.

    This process of forgetting is not easy, but try to let some time pass. Let your mind make sure to remember how much better it is to keep on living and loving someone who deserves that. If you don’t see them too often, you’ll get used to it. Do something nice for yourself, buy some new clothes or visit something you always wanted to. Do anything to bring to mind of how pretty a life you can live. Try to grow up and find out which things are making you happy and filled. Don’t hurt someone else just because someone hurt you. At some point you are guilty because you let someone hurt you even if he or she tried to show you their disinterest. Learn how to love life with each day that comes, embrace every opportunity that offers to you. See the good in people and date only those people who can’t make you feel bad, but who can make you laugh and who can love you the way you love. By now, you realized how short life is to waste it on people who are toxic and who can’t see how great you are.

    Forget them permanently and forever. Don’t let yourself be deceived. You suffered long enough to never let yourself go through it again. If you properly get over them, you won’t think of them ever again. You won’t care if they find someone else, you won’t feel bad if they are happy.

    You just won’t care at all. Once you get over it, after some time passed, you can remember how your feelings are a kind of sweet. It actually feels good to remember how strong you believed that you won’t ever survive without that person. And here you are. Complete person with a great personality.

    Some day, you will see your already forgotten person with someone else. You will see how happy he or she is and you won’t feel bad about that. Right opposite, you will be happy too, because you aren’t toxic and jealous when people around you are happy. Especially when you see happiness of a person you once planned a future with. You dreamed of being together and now you don’t feel bad about failed dreams, but happy because it became a nice memory. You learned to deal with and accept situations no matter how difficult they can be. And for the last time you close that page of your life.

    You know that things can’t always be the way we want them to be. When you think wisely about past time, you realize that there has never been the end. You never started anything serious, so you never had the real breakup. There wasn’t any arguing and typical fights. You two never had a chance to get bored with each other, there was no accidental fight and arguing, no let downs that are common to every couple. You never had a cease of a relationship, or tedious apartness. Your so-called partner never fooled you or made you angry.

    Also speaking about a relationship and its positive things, you never had an opportunity to experience that either, with that person of yours. You didn’t have a happy ending.

    Still, you are fine. Those are very nice memories and it needed quite a long time for you to make it a memory. Your feelings remained strong and your life is good. You are not unsatisfied, even though if you had a chance to rule, you would make things very different. But in this case life has done it instead of you, and eventually you realize that it wasn’t bad at all. You moved on and things are going well for you. Perhaps you may hear farther cheerful proclamation from the person you once knew. That is a complete new version of themselves.

    Yet you will remain happy, and your triumph will become the greatest of all.

    About the author

    Kirsten Blackwood

    A mental health writer and advocate. Currently I write about depression. My work has always been centered around health as I previously worked at a variety of healthcare-focused agencies. I wanted to help people who were struggling with an illness or disability, but often times didn’t feel the work I was doing was providing the right voice to the people I was trying to help. Here, I can connect to you in your journey by encouraging you to share the good, the bad, and moments in-between.

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