When you are in your early twenties, this is a period in your life when everyone around you is getting married. At first you are more than shocked because you perceive yourself as too young and not ready for this important step. But as time passes by, more and more of your friends are married, pregnant, or with kids. Your Facebook news feed is full of wedding pictures of the people your age. But you still don’t feel ready. You are not even sure if marriage is something you want for yourself. You don’t see yourself spending your entire life with just one person, and you don’t know if that is so because you still haven’t found the right one or you simply don’t want to marry.
You feel pressured by your family and friends. Everybody is asking you if you have found somebody and what you are waiting for. It seems that everybody except you is pairing up and that you are the only one that can’t find your soulmate. You start to wonder what is wrong with you and whether you are capable of loving and being loved. You feel emotionally disabled. You forget to live your life and let it revolve only around finding a suitable partner. And that is what you are doing wrong.
First of all, your worth doesn’t depend on your relationship or marriage status. You should not let anyone define or value you based on whether you are single or not. You’ve probably spent too much of your time and energy seeking for approval and validation from other people. And, in your twenties, marriage or a committed relationship have become a measurement for happiness. Our society is simply like that towards women. No matter how successful you are professionally or in any other field, if you are not married or are not planning to be, you are not a complete woman for most of the people. But that is their problem and you should never let that affect you. You are a complete person on your own, and it’s completely fine if you are not ready to settle down or even if you don’t see yourself married. You are an individual and you are the only one who builds your personality and value and that doesn’t have to do with a guy.
Marriage and relationships can be great, but if you don’t love and respect yourself, nothing else matters. No one can fix you or heal you until you are a complete person on your own and until you find meaning in your life by yourself. Once you get to know your true self, you will attract emotionally mature guys who also know what they want from life. Until then, while you are incomplete, and as long as you are trying to find validation in someone else, you will only find immature and toxic guys who will only make you miserable and unhappy. So dedicate time to yourself and try to move away from the pressure of being married.
Besides, there are plenty of things to enjoy besides marriage. Being single is always fun, despite what everyone tells you. You have more time and energy to be yourself and to do things only you like. You have the time to grow as a person, to do the things you have always wanted to do, and to accomplish your own personal goals. When you are paired, you can do all of these things, but you always have to compromise. Being single offers you plenty of opportunities and chances for self-growth that a relationship doesn’t. Focus on your own desires and become the person you want to be. This way, you will feel better about yourself and will attract better and more positive people around you.
The right guy will come along, if you want him to come. Until that happens, allow yourself to make mistakes in love and dating, because that is the only way to know what kind of guy you are looking for and to realize if you are ready to commit. Until then, make it clear that you are single by your own choice and that you are more than okay with that. Stop focusing on people around you and start enjoying every breath you take!