It is not easy to love the woman who has been to hell and back. A lot of men have tried. But most of them have failed.
It requires a relentless love, one that is determined. One that not easily defeated. It will take more strength than you even know you possess. It will take patience, tenacity, and resolve. And if you are not strong enough, you shouldn’t attempt.
The woman who has been to hell and back will push you away. She will test whether you have what it takes to weather her storm. Because she needs to know what you are made of. She is unpredictable—at times the thunder; other times—gentle and calm.
You need to love her when she is gentle. But you need to love her harder when she is the thunder.
She will feel insecure, but she will never tell you. She will be the toughest nut to crack, and those walls won’t be broken easily. Because those walls were just her walls. And that’s her shell. That world belongs only to her. It protects her, keeps her safe, and maintains her.
She will be unlike any other girl. That is guaranteed. It’s going to be hard for her to find some space for someone else.
She would say she doesn’t need you. She would say I can do this alone. And she would say I can handle this. So she’ll sound like a one-woman, independent broken record. That’s true. She can do it alone. She can handle that.
But she doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you. It doesn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy your company. She will want you to stay close, to tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her on her forehead. She will want you to hold her in the strength of your arms. But, when tomorrow comes, she will want her solitude, her independence.
She spends nights awake, unable to slow her thoughts. She was trying to make her broken pieces fit. And she fights her demons. But she doesn’t have to do this alone. She doesn’t have to handle everything by herself. Sometimes she will need only herself, but you should be there for her.
Love her when she reaches out to you. Love her harder when she pushes you away.
She will be anxious for new people, places, and experiences. She will be terrified as a child alone in the big world. Sometimes you should let her be courageous because she will want to prove to herself she has what it takes. But other times, you should take her hand and hold it firmly in yours. You should show her she is not alone.
Love her when she steps into the world on her own. Love her when she is brave. But love her harder when she refuses to take your hand. Love her harder when she is scared.
She will be ashamed to be herself. Because she is afraid that she is not enough. No one ever loved her for who she is. She is afraid. But you can change that. Love her when she feels not enough. Love her hard.
At times, she will feel pain and anguish. But, other times, she will laugh with you aloud.
She doesn’t understand a love with no conditions. And she will always love you with caution, with one foot out the door. Because she can’t allow herself to fully trust in love. She will keep parts of her heart hidden. Because she can’t allow herself to get hurt again. She will expect you to leave first because everyone who loves her leaves her. And she is scared to get hurt again.
Don’t ever make her feel trapped or without freedom. Never clip her wings, for if she has the freedom to fly, she will always come back to you.
When it’s easy, love her. When it’s not, love her harder. Love her because of the fragile heart she gave you. Love her because she loves you. And she loves you hard.
She chooses you. She wants you to stay. Respect her and love her whole world of complications. When you become a part of her world, her life, and her heart, she will be ready to never let you go.