You are aware there are toxic and narcissistic people all around you. You also think that you could recognize toxic and selfish behavior if you encounter it. But you may be far from the truth, without even realizing it. There are certain behaviors characteristic for toxic people that seem pretty usual and normal for you. So, to be sure your relationship is healthy, here are five toxic relationship habits that most people don’t recognize as toxic.
Many people don’t know how to express their feelings and dissatisfactions directly, so they try other ways. Some people ignore their partner or are just trying to provoke a fight about something which is not connected to the reason for their anger. If they ignore you, they are actually having a silent fight with you and are arguing with themselves. Passive-aggressive people will never tell you what is wrong and what is really bothering them. You’ll just see they have changed and are hurt about something, but you’ll have to guess what it is.
This is a sign of a toxic behavior for many reasons. First of all, this person doesn’t give you the chance to explain yourself nor to present your attitudes and points of view. They judge you and make conclusions on their own. If they are ignoring you, they are showing they don’t respect you enough. If your partner is aggressive, he is trying to teach you a lesson and raise you, which is unacceptable in a mature relationship. Besides, this only shows you two are having some serious communication issues in the relationship.
In the beginning, it’s flattering and nice for everyone if our partner is a little bit jealous. You would probably even be offended if he acts indifferently if he sees you flirting with other guys, and you see his jealousy as a sign of his interest in you. But, if his jealousy gets out of hand, it is a warning sign. If your partner overreacts and prevents you from living your life to the fullest, he is definitely toxic for you.
This means he is possessive and wants to control you. Another thing that makes jealousy toxic is the fact that it means that there is no trust in your relationship, and trust is one of the foundations of every healthy relationship. Besides, this also means that your partner is not sure in your relationship and that he has some deeper self-esteem issues that he needs to work on.
Not taking responsibility
Whenever something bad happens in your relationship, your partner considers you responsible. He never takes responsibility for his words and actions and he doesn’t want to admit when he is wrong. Whatever he did, it was because you provoked him and it was your fault. With doing this, your partner wants to lower your self-confidence and to elevate himself over you.
If your partner is doing this, he is definitely a narcissist. His fragile ego can’t stand admitting to himself and especially to others that he is not right. In this way, you can’t expect to resolve any fight or issue you have with him, and that is not a basis for a healthy relationship.
Resolving arguments with sex and presents
Even when your partner accepts he wasn’t right, he’ll never admit that to you. Instead, he will try to bribe you with presents or will want to get everything resolved in bed. In the beginning, you probably thought that he was just being thoughtful and caring and that he can’t get his hands of you. But later you realize it was just his way of avoiding problems and having to deal with them.
This is possessive on many levels. First of all, it shows that your partner is not mature enough to face difficulties and hardships. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but he clearly doesn’t know how to handle the downs. Another important thing is that this means that the two of you have a serious problem in communication. If he’s constantly trying to resolve arguments with sex and presents and you are just going along with it, you have a toxic relationship.
Playing the victim
Whatever happens, your partner plays the victim. He is not the victim and he is well aware of that, he just knows your weaknesses and is emotionally blackmailing you. He knows you love him and knows your soft spots and hits them directly. While doing this, he is constantly making you feel and look like the bad guy, which results in you feeling guilty.
This is one of the most apparent personality traits of a toxic person. If your partner is doing this, don’t expect him to change. The only thing you can do is to leave him and move on with your life, because your relationship is everything but healthy.