You were so good at pretending and lying, you were so good at playing games. You convinced me that you loved me, that you cared, that you wanted me, needed me. Damn, how stupid I was. I was naive and you were such a good liar. I was there for you, when no one was. You were the love of my life, my everything, and you chewed me up and spit me out so, so many times. Maybe you wanted me, but you never needed me, you put no effort into actually being with me. All I got from you were broken promises and empty words. Now I understand that you never deserved me, never. A guy like you doesn’t deserve a girl like me. Unfortunately, I realized it too late.
I was a good girlfriend, but you never saw all the sacrifices I made for you. I was there when no one was, I was defending you, caring for you, loving you more than myself. But you, you took it all for granted, like I owed it to you. You didn’t give me anything, nothing to hold on, but you always expected me to stay. I was waiting and waiting, waiting for you, for your love. I was there for you, but you didn’t care about it.
You were too busy with yourself, I was just fun for you, you were just playing games with me. But while you were busy with yourself and your life, I moved on. That life wasn’t life at all. You never actually cared about me, you just wanted me, but you never needed me.
Actually, you wanted my attention and affection, and I was there for you, but you never were there for me. At one moment I realized that I don’t want you anymore, I loved you, but I had to leave.
I don’t need your lies, your games, sleepless nights and other things you were giving me. You don’t have anything to offer me, so I don’t need you. Now I am putting myself first, not you, not anyone else. You were nothing and I was everything. My heart was sure of what we had, but you played me, you fooled me. I held onto you for so long, as long as I could. You never saw how good I was, I owned when I was wrong, I was your person, you could count on me in every moment. Actually, I never felt loved, I was just lying to myself that you loved me, but what we had was not love. I couldn’t love for both of us.
Now after all, I am forgetting you, and already I feel different. There is no happy ending for us, because you never loved me, and you never will, because you only can love yourself. There is no happy ending when one person is loving, giving the best, breaking apart, and the other is just playing games. Moving on was hard, but letting you break my heart again and again was harder. Now I see how stupid I was, I don’t even know how I believed that I am not strong enough to walk away, to move on.
After all this time, after all the things you did to me, I don’t hate you, I have every right to, but I don’t. I’ll show you again how much better I am than you. You are never going to get anything from me, not anymore, not ever again. But, to be honest, even now that I moved way, I have days when I miss you, miss you to tell you something new or to share my happiness with you. But in very next moment I remember how you were treating me, and in that moment everything stopped. And this is going in circles, I miss you, then I don’t miss you, it is messy, but it will pass.
You broke my heart, but I need to thank you, because now I am even stronger, I am not naive. Because of you I found myself, I love myself. Maybe one part of my heart still loves you, but that doesn’t mean that I want you back. Actually, it just means that my love was real, I loved you truly with my whole heart. Now I know how to deal with my scars that cover my heart, and I am happy, happier than ever.
You deserve to stay in the past, I don’t have to waste my time on you, because you don’t deserve me and my time, actually you never did. Also, I forgive you, everything, you didn’t deserve but I forgive you. Maybe one day you will realize what you had and what you lost because you were piece of shit. I left you, I didn’t lose that much. But you lost a girl who loved you more than anything, more than her life.