Family Life

10 Things That Changed Me after Losing a Parent

changed me
Written by Karen Clark

We are all aware of the presence of death all around us. But, we tend to think death always happens to someone else, far away from us. Nothing and nobody can ever prepare you for the death of someone close to you. Especially for a death of a parent. I have lost my dad when I needed him the most in my teen years. Actually, when I think about it, whenever you lose a parent, it was when you needed them the most, because you always need them.

Even if you are surrounded with your own children and grandchildren, you will need their guidance, support, and advice. It always hits you the same, and it’s the pain from which you can never recover. Until my dad passed away, I was a child without a care on her mind. No matter how old you are, you are a child as long as your parents are alive and there for you. When I lost my dad, it changed me forever.

First of all, I learned to appreciate my mother more. When you are younger and when both of your parents are alive, you never value them enough and you take them for granted. After you lose one of your parents, you cherish the one who is still with you.

I’ve learned to appreciate life more. I’ve realized that we are all moments away from death. In the beginning, that made me depressed. But as time passed by, I learned to enjoy every moment on Earth and to make the best out of my life. This helped me improve my personality in more than one way.

I’ve learned to appreciate everyone around me. Now, I am careful how I treat people around me. You never know when the last time you talk to someone will be. I don’t take people around me for granted and always try to make time for them. It’s too late to change things when someone is gone.

I grew up. And it happened overnight. My mother and brothers were, of course, devastated after my dad has passed away. So, I had to deal with losing one of the most important persons in my life, and at the same time, I felt it was my duty to at least try to help my mother and my brothers get better.

After my dad died, I learned not to let myself be annoyed or upset by little things. When you feel that kind of pain, that literally tears you apart, every other pain you feel during your life looks like a joke. When something like this happens to you, you realize how much energy and time you have spent on things that now appear foolish.

After you lose a parent, whether you want it or not, you become more independent. My dad was my rock, he was my sanctuary, my shoulder to cry on, my advisor, my everything. When you lose a parent, you realize you depend on yourself and that your parents are probably the only people who will always have your back and who you can rely on.

When my father died, for a long time I felt numb about everything and everyone else in my life. I thought I have cried all of my tears out and that I don’t have any emotions left. But that passed with time. You learn to love and let other people in your life again after a while.

Although my dad has passed away in my teen years and wasn’t there when it was time for me to choose my partner, he helped me a lot. I have promised myself that I would never settle for a guy until he treats me as wonderfully as my dad treated my mum. That guided me and saved me from multiple wrong choices.

I think I haven’t accepted my father’s death, although it has been more than a decade. I still wait for his phone call, wait for him to come home from work. He is still the first thought that comes through my mind in the morning and the last person I think about when I go to sleep.

When you face death, you also face your spiritual and religious side. Some people become more attracted to their religion and some lose faith completely. Luckily for me, I have turned to religion after my dad died. Religion helped me a lot, because I believe he is watching me and looking after me. And most of all, I believe we will meet again.

10 Things That Changed Me after Losing a Parent