Relationships can be complicated, but they shouldn’t be. It all boils down to how willing we are to work on ourselves and our unity with that special someone. There are a lot of factors that can make it or break it, so we will try and offer some guidelines on what (not) to do if you want your relationship to last.
- Shower them with little signs of affection
Give hugs, kiss them, at least on a cheek or a tip of their nose while you’re passing by them, hold hands, absently play with their hair while you’re watching a movie. Keeping physical contact a constant to remind them how much you like the feeling and warmth of their skin might seem like nothing, but it is an easy way to make your partner happy.
- Be polite
I know this might not make sense, but just because you spend so much time together and burps or being gassy are normal bodily functions, it does not mean you should be gross about it. Always remember to excuse yourself or if you feel it might be bad, it’s a good idea to leave the room. Most people won’t mind it, but for some it can be a serious offense, so be mindful of your manners.
- Keep the romance alive
It is important to never stop courting each other. Have your special date nights, buy flowers or favorite chocolate, remind them you pay attention to their likes and organize something with that in mind.
- Don’t be rude to their friends
It is fine if you don’t like them, but keep in mind your partner does and they were there far before you were. If you’re not careful, they will be there even after you are gone. Try and keep it to yourself, but if not, always be respectful towards them.
- Let them know they’re appreciated
Thank them for what they do for you, show them it means a lot. It requires minimum effort for maximum reward.
- Be open about your thoughts
If there is a problem with something, speak up. None of us read minds, so if you want to talk about something that bothers you or makes you unhappy, just say it.
- Own up to your mistakes
When you become aware you were wrong, be it through your actions or in a disagreement, set your pride aside, admit your mistake and, if needed, make amends.
- Give out compliments
This is a simple way to remind them what you love and appreciate about your partner, so that there is no question about it.
- Don’t always criticize them
If they ask for advice or a solution to a problem, whether it pertains to your relationship or their life in general, don’t make them feel bad for what happened—even if you disapprove, try and provide an actual solution.
- Give each other space
When you’re in love, all you want is to be with that person all the time. Still, you should make sure to have alone time too—it’s good to miss each other, and it’ll give you space to grow as individuals.
- Do not forget what you want out of life
Relationships can easily become all about making your partner happy and pushing your needs and plans aside. Make you sure you pay attention to yourself and see if those needs are being fulfilled, because how can you make someone happy if you yourself are not? It will help you be the best possible version of yourself, the kind your loved one deserves.
- Work on yourself
Speaking of being the best version of yourself, that also means that you should always work on your qualities, like being loyal and trustworthy.
- Be their biggest cheerleader
You and your partner both have dreams and ambitions, things you want to learn or experience. Do not hold each other back or discourage each other. Show them you support them all the way and expect to receive back the same support.
- Make sure you have separate interests
Liking all the same things, doing everything together, you can easily become bored of each other because of that. Find separate hobbies, and through those new interests make sure you always have something to talk about and share with each other.
- Do not keep tabs on each other
Keeping score on how many times you did something for your partner or how many times they hurt your feelings is destructive, especially when it’s unintentional. Don’t do it. Don’t do nice things just to look like a better person, either. Do it out of love.
- Be willing to adapt
All of us are different and none of us are perfect. It is quite possible you don’t have the same beliefs or your partner might have some quirks you don’t understand or don’t like, but guess what? You probably have more than one, too. That is why you have to be willing and able to adapt if you want it to work out between you and your partner.
This goes for everything, from emotional aspects to household chores (if you live together). You can’t have only one of you doing all the work. Make sure you work together if you wish to last.
- Grow as a couple, not just as individuals
If you don’t work on your unity and talk to each other a lot, you will more likely grow apart, than together. You should be able to better yourself not only for your personal gain, but in a way that will benefit you both.
- Learn to forgive and let go
Both of you will make mistakes, it is unavoidable. What’s important is that you are ready to forgive and work on not repeating them. Holding a grudge will only bring misery.
- Stop trying to plan your relationship
You cannot possibly know how your relationship will work, holding on to your expectations in advance will leave you always wanting because things definitely won’t go how you planned. Relax and let that relationship take its course, let it be spontaneous. Some of the best ones are made that way.