Heartbreak Love Relationships

To All the Girls Who Have Lost Themselves to Toxic Guys

If you are in a relationship, you expect to be happy and loved. But days have passed and you keep asking yourself when the last time you had a smile on your face was. You are wondering when you will be yourself again. There is so much simplicity if you are in a good and positive relationship, and there is no human who deserves a relationship in which they are afraid of their partner. So many girls are blinded, and so they stay in a relationship where they are frightened of the man they are with.


    It only takes one day. It would be so much easier if you would walk away. You can be done just with a little bit of courage. The best resolution of all is to walk away. You let someone who you cared about take all of your love and so many other things from you. Once you leave, you are going to breathe again.

    You were dating someone who made you lose your self-worth.

    Your partner is supposed to make you happy and smile, definitely not take it away from you. Still, you have lost your smile that could light up the world. But your smile annoyed him. Toxic partners mostly charm you and once they know that they have you for sure, they will just keep manipulating you. They are rolling you around their fingers, with certainty that you would not leave. Your partner has the ability to make you feel so deep, you could never imagine that someone is able to do that to another.

    You have lost your self-confidence.

    Confidence is very important. Your partner used to say nice things to you, but somehow you “don’t need to hear more of them.” He acts like everything is said. Suddenly you feel like you are not worthy.

    You dated someone you thought you knew.

    There is no certain duration of a toxic relationship. At the beginning you feel happy and completed, but as time goes by, all you do is hope that it will be just like it was at the start. You are trying to convince yourself that it is a phase and that he will be your old partner, but he won’t.

    You were dating someone who was not like that at first.

    We all want to leave the best first impression. You met your person, and he was amazing. He charmed you, he was funny and nice, and he showed you the best impossible picture of himself. Through the time spent together, he turned into a liar and a deceiver. You were trying to convince yourself and all the people around you that your relationship is fine, and you are happy. And you wanted him to be the man he pretended at first, and while you were waiting him to change, you endeavor to ignore all the signs of failure.

    You became suspicious of all people.

    Watching him, you started to ask yourself if there is any good in anyone. You used to see good in people, you are one of those good people. Because of him you started to question every single man.

    You were dating someone who loved exclusively self.

    You were trying to assure yourself that with your pure love you can get some from him, but you get nothing. It takes time to realize that it is impossible to have any of the love from someone who only loves himself. You go deeper and deeper, and there is that feeling of solitude, which you can’t run away from. Your person couldn’t stand you. He can’t look at you, nor kiss you. That person uses your love to feel like he has more power. It looked just like a game. The more you feel bad, the better he feels.

    You have been manipulated.

    Manipulation is very powerful weapon. You can have doubt in him, but somehow he always finds the way to assure you that you are guilty. He doesn’t text you—you feel like you don’t deserve it for God knows why. Once you allow yourself to be manipulated, it is hard to stop it.

    You dated someone who is jealous of you.

    Briefly, you lost yourself because of him. Every time someone says “hi” to you, he made you feel guilty. Once you were friendly and happy to be in contact with so many different people, but suddenly you abandon all of your friends, just to make sure that he will love you then. You avoided many people, especially those with different gender, because your person doesn’t trust you. You reject almost all of your friends in order to have him.

    Yet, you dated the one who made you stronger.

    Leaving him, after you lived through all of that shit, was the best possible decision you could ever make. You can laugh again without that stupid feeling of guilt, but always have on your mind who once took a smile from you. You lost some friends, but you can meet others who will respect you for who you are. And you won’t ever allow anyone to own you. You have learned from the best one.

    Because you left him, you learned to love yourself again.

    To All the Girls Who Have lost themselves to toxic guys

    About the author

    Kirsten Blackwood

    A mental health writer and advocate. Currently I write about depression. My work has always been centered around health as I previously worked at a variety of healthcare-focused agencies. I wanted to help people who were struggling with an illness or disability, but often times didn’t feel the work I was doing was providing the right voice to the people I was trying to help. Here, I can connect to you in your journey by encouraging you to share the good, the bad, and moments in-between.