Relationships

10 Signs Your Partner is Unhealthy Jealous

Written by Aveline

People always say that a little jealousy is good in a relationship. It shows that, while your partner cares, they are still somewhat insecure and are afraid they might lose you to someone else. While it is not completely untrue, let us be honest here—who would really be fine with having to deal with your partner’s slightly paranoid doubts all the time? Not only because the lack of trust is offensive, it is also mentally draining. It gets even harder to endure when that jealousy reaches unhealthy levels. Here is a list of signs your partner is unhealthy jealous to tell you if you are mistaken or it really is that bad. 

  1. They are always suspicious

Your partner always suspects the worst of you and people that surround you. They seem to believe everyone has hidden intentions towards you and none of them should be trusted. They will check through your phone, go through your social media, and try to get information out of you in a manner that will make you feel like you’re being questioned in a police station. This attention is far from the simple interest you would expect from your significant other. So be careful, it is important to differentiate between a caring partner and a controlling one.

  1. They always try to keep you to themselves

When the relationship is new and sparks, butterflies, and such are still present, it is not unusual wanting to spend every moment of every day with your partner and no one else. You are so special to them, nobody loves you or wants you as much as they do. That is why it’s very hard to see it as an alarming sign, until after, when it persists and you realize it is far from being sweet—it is an attempt to isolate you from all of those they deem as potential threats. Your partner missing you is okay, but insisting you give all your time to them is most certainly not. It is healthy and necessary to have separate lives out of your relationship.

  1. They are always criticizing your interests and friends

Seeing you being perfectly capable to enjoy time with people that are not your partner, and having a variety of hobbies that make you happy and functioning very well on your own is a threat to them. They see there is not really much that makes them irreplaceable, and they start fearing you could leave easily, so they do what is in their power to prevent it. Do not let it slide. You shouldn’t have to give up what makes you happy.

  1. They are trying to control your life

This is pretty simple. They are always checking on you when you are with friends, demand to know where you are and who is with you. They try to tell you what to wear because what you have on is too revealing. And they want you to behave the way that corresponds with their beliefs. This sign makes it pretty obvious things could get terribly out of hand.

  1. They become too clingy

They are everywhere, going as far as neglecting their duties, friends, and hobbies just to be able to keep an eye on you. Their need to control what happens in your life is stronger than the enjoyment their life brings them.

  1. They demand to always be able to contact you

When you go out without your partner, they will keep trying to contact you. When you are having fun, you rarely remember to check your phone—nights like those mostly end in them having a jealous freakout, accusing you of doing who knows what, insinuating you might be cheating on them. You shouldn’t have to fear enjoying time without your partner.

  1. They watch your every step online

Always lurking, keeping a close eye on who you interact with, who writes compliments under pictures of you, whose pictures you like, and who is that new friend you added that you’ve never mentioned before.  If they make an issue over your social media or even try to make you disconnect altogether, it is an obvious sign of how far their jealousy goes.

  1. They are always so tense

When you are out, among people, coming across acquaintances, work colleagues, and others, they always seem extremely tense—they become very fidgety or stare intensely, trying to read your face while you talk to them. It means something stresses them out. By itself, it is not a very precise sign, but in combination with some of the signs already mentioned, it is a red flag.

  1. They tend to be emotionally dependent

Emotional dependency means the person is too scared to be on their own. That can lead to very irrational outbursts of jealousy, just to prevent being abandoned by their partner, even if they themselves are unhappy in that relationship.

  1. They have mood swings

One minute, they will be all loving and a minute later, you are getting a silent treatment or they can be flat out angry at you. The reason might be something harmless, like getting a phone call, being invited out by your friends, or liking someone’s picture on social media.

Bottom line is, no one should be afraid of what their partners might say or how they might react to us simply living our lives. So pay attention and learn to recognize this type of jealousy for your own well-being.

About the author

Aveline

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