Love Relationships

How to Deal With a Narcissistic Girlfriend

Written by Chloe M.

When you’re dating a narcissistic woman, it can be very difficult to understand her at times. She can be self-obsessed, cruel and even a little non-sensical. Narcissists can seem as though they just want to make their own self feel good, and they don’t care about making time for other people. It’s an unfortunate personality trait for a narcissist, but you can help them work to change their way of life. So is there a way how to deal with a narcissistic girlfriend? Fortunately, yes. Here are some of our top tips of how to deal with a narcissistic girlfriend.

Let her know she’s not always right

A narcissistic woman always think she’s got it right. She won’t take criticism from anyone, not even the people who matter most to her. Just let her know when she’s being too stubborn, so that she can see that she isn’t right for once. Back her up when she’s right, but don’t be afraid to argue against her when she’s not. Feeding her ego doesn’t work, and narcissists need to be deprived of attention to get better. It may feel awful to do, but it’ll help change your narcissist for the better if you just give it some time.

Make it clear that sometimes, someone else has to take the spotlight

When there’s a battle for centre stage, you can bet your narcissistic girlfriend will be right in the thick of it. Her personality demands that people pay attention to her, or she will crumble from lack of it. However, narcissists need to realise that other want a way to share with others, which is much harder when they can’t get a word in edgeways. Gently remind her – and other narcissists, for that matter –  that other people have a piece to say, and that she doesn’t always have to be in the limelight. Remind her that it can be nice to take of your mask for a while and just relax in good company. This self-change will be a massive impact on their personality, and it can be a hard transition for a narcissist, so ensure you’re around to help her work out how to act like a normal person would.

Don’t let them get away with things they’ve done wrong

If they’ve done something that’s angered everyone, you have to be the one to tell her she’s in the wrong. You can’t help but feel like she’s began to anger people deliberately, since she knows she can get away with it. She won’t come to the conclusion that she’s bad herself – she’s too self-obsessed to believe she can do wrong. Despite having trouble listening to criticism, she will listen to you most of the time, especially if she knows deep down she has got herself into trouble. As her partner, you’re the only person she will let up the act for, even if only for a moment. Each time you bring her up on her attitude, it’s a baby step towards getting back to normality.

Teach them to take criticism

It has to be a constant battle with a narcissist to get them to realise they’re not perfect. When someone criticises her, she goes nuts and acts as though she’s the one who has been belittled. Remind her she doesn’t have to be perfect all the time. She’s always believed she is perfect, so it’s not easy to tell her otherwise, but once you get it in her head, she’ll relax a lot more. Also let her know it’s not a personal attack. Allow her to see that you’d bring anyone up on bad behaviour, and when she sees how others react to that, she will learn from her mistakes.

Be honest when they’re not good at something

Don’t blindly tell her she can take on the world because when it comes to a narcissistic woman, because if you do, she’s likely to try. It’s hard to know how to deal with a narcissistic girlfriend when she’s reaching for the stars, but if something’s not her cup of tea, let her know she’s better sticking with her other skills before she gets hurt. Encourage her to follow up on hobbies where she excels, and make sure she knows that an imperfection is not a crime. Show her that you aren’t good at everything either, and that it’s okay to not master every skill you try out.

Make them take responsibility for their mistakes

Don’t let any incident slide. Constantly remind her that she needs to be responsible for the things she’s done, especially when she makes a lot of mistakes. Don’t share the blame unless it’s justified – she has to do this one solo. A mistake is her burden to bear, and though she will often try to shift the blame, block her path this time and stand your ground. She won’t be happy with you for it, but she will at least learn in the long-run that she’s not bulletproof.

How to deal with a narcissistic girlfriend – remember that she’s human

She can seem invincible at times, but she’s far from it. Let her know it’s okay to take a day off from being her high-maintenance self and relax. With you at her side, she’s going to take a chill pill and learn to take it easy. She’ll always be a diva, but you can calm her down a little, at least.

About the author

Chloe M.