How to stop being unhappy and appreciate what you have

How to stop being unhappy
Written by Deborah Carbone

Life gets everyone down sometimes, and it can be hard to see the positive side of the situation. You’re overworked, you’re tired and you’re in serious need of a holiday, but you’ve got to get through this rough patch through. You don’t remember when you were last truly happy, and people say it will get better with time, but your happiness is in the balance. It doesn’t help when you feel like the people around you make the best they can of their life, and instead, you struggle to obtain a positive mindset and are left feeling like you’re drowning in the pursuit of being happy.


    It won’t go away with wishing and praying, unfortunately. It’s hard work rescuing yourself, but there are ways to become a more positive person if you want it enough. So how to stop being unhappy is a difficult one, but if you make a conscious effort, you’re one step closer to being happy. However, you’re going to need more guidance than that, so we have some tips on learning to appreciate what you have.

    Take a moment each day to highlight the positives

    Think about the day you’ve had, and try to find at least three positive things that happened. It can be something small, like you woke up to birds singing, or something big, like you got a promotion. Instead of thinking of all the things you still want, feeling sorry for yourself and questioning your happiness, focus on something simpler.

    For example, if you want a promotion, it may feel like it’s far out of your reach in this life time. Work feels harder when you’re hoping for more the whole way. Instead of thinking this way, ask yourself what factor of the day could make it the best of the week. This will help to show you that this time spent isn’t wasted – no matter what, there’s a silver lining to every day. As long as you think of the good things, you’ll start to realise that even bad days aren’t all bad, and happiness will come your way in time.

    Each morning, start with a healthy breakfast

    Eating well is often the key to how to stop being unhappy. Though many people see happiness as pigging out on all the nice foods they want, your body and brain disagree. While endorphins are released when you’re eating to make you happy, people often feel worse afterwards, with a feeling of self-loathing and guilt taking over. It’s not a feeling worth inflicting on yourself.

    Junk food and treats should only be consumed in moderation, and starting the day out right with a healthy meal is a great way to set you up for even the most difficult of days. The best way to help with self-care is to think what will make you happy in the long run and not in the present moment. It’s all about what you need, not what you want.

    Enjoy good weather

    Don’t hide out indoors on a sunny day, just because you’re fed up. This is one of the ways to become a negative person, neglecting your needs and ignoring self-happiness. Getting out in the fresh air will lift your mood, and you’ll learn to appreciate the sunny days when they come. The time in the sun will help replenish your body too, and people are often more happy after a stint in the sun.

    Reward yourself for getting through a hard day

    Create a rewards system that brings some light to a dark day. If you enjoy a glass of wine, or a big bar of chocolate, use those to treat yourself when you’re feeling at your worst. It doesn’t help to deny things you want all the time, and doing so is one of the ways to make yourself feel worse.

    However, when treats are given more often, they hold more importance. Limiting how often you consume these treats makes them feel more special when you have them, so save them for a rainy day so you know you have a pick-me-up waiting to help you in your time of need.

    Cut problematic people from your life

    If it’s a person getting you down, there’s nothing stopping you from cutting them out of your life. Happiness is often based on the company you keep, and one of the ways to increase happiness is to surround yourself with happy people.

    Identify who is an issue and why. Then you can either tell them to quit it, or rid yourself of them from your life. Either way, you’ll feel better knowing you’ve stood up for yourself and found your backbone!

    Talk about your feelings

    Sit your friends down and explain to them what’s going on with you. A problem shared is a problem halved, so it’s useful to confide in others when you’re feeling at your worst. Your friends always know how to cheer you up as well, so you’ll be able to appreciate what you have with your pals as they pull you out of your dark place.

    Question how to stop being unhappy by identifying the problem

    Do you feel anxious? Are you overwhelmed by work? Are you having relationship problems? Are you suffering from mental health problems? Whatever the issue is, identify it and find a solution to the problem at hand. Once you know what you’re facing, it’s easier to destroy the problem and then move past it.

    There are always ways to get past a difficulty if you know how. Try out the methods we have suggested, and if that doesn’t work, you may be suffering something worse than a bad patch. If this is the case, professionals are always at hand to aid those who need it. Don’t be afraid to reach out – your mental health is important and valued by therapists and doctors.

    How to stop being unhappy and appreciate what you have

    About the author

    Deborah Carbone

    I'm a Life and Relationship Coach with 5 years experience of coaching and training. I work with overwhelmed women guiding them through all kinds of life and career transitions so that they can make big changes in their lives.
    Writing is my passion and I am here to help you through every phase of your life. I hope you'll enjoy.