You have heard this advice before. Everyone keeps telling you that you shouldn’t change for anything or anyone, no matter how much you love and care for that person. You keep hearing that you shouldn’t let anyone change who you are and that you always have to stay true to yourself. But, what nobody tells you is how to achieve that.
Many things in life can change you. But, it’s up to you whether you will allow it. Your school or job and the stress you feel related to it can change who you are. Your family, friends, boss, co-workers or boyfriend, all want you to be the person they expect you to be. Many people change because of social standards.
If you want to become a part of a certain group of friends, maybe you need to change the way you look, talk or change your values. But, if they don’t accept you the way you are, ask yourself if you need that people in your life. If a boy wants you to change your hair color, lose weight or become another person emotionally, that boy doesn’t truly care about you. He has the image of a girl he wants to be with and he just wants you to fulfill those standards.
You shouldn’t change your habits, hobbies or preferences for anyone. It’s wrong to change your taste in music, movies or change your clothing style to fit in. Changing your beliefs and adapting different life values is even more serious and concerning. The people who directly ask this of you, or imply that you should change don’t deserve you.
You should try and set boundaries in every relationship, even when it comes to your family. In that way, people will understand that you will not adapt to anyone. These boundaries are beneficial for you and for other people. In this way, you will not resent them for changing you nor will you resent yourself for falling under pressure. If you consider something is wrong or you just don’t feel like doing it, you should be loud and clear about it. You shouldn’t judge anyone life choices but should accept respect when it comes to yours. This is the only way to have a healthy relationship with everyone around you.
Staying true to yourself is connected to keeping your beliefs and values and standing up for them. It means that you should respect yourself and not adapt to anyone’s expectations. You should never let yourself hide your true emotions or thoughts out of the need for someone else’s approval. You shouldn’t cater to anyone else, at your own expense.
Don’t be passive and let life pass by you. The first thing you have to do is to build your own personality. You need to set clear goals and be straight with yourself about the things you want from life. You should explore yourself and find out what is important for you and where are your boundaries. In this way, when you get to know yourself, it’s easier to show others who you are. Of course, you should stay consistent. If people can perceive you as someone with firm personality and someone who is trustworthy and always keeps his or her word, they will respect you more and treat you differently. Have the courage to make decisions about your life and emotions.
Stand up for yourself even if you are scared. This will build your self-confidence. You will appreciate yourself more and be proud of yourself. And, other people will follow. Soon, you will notice that people respect you in a different way.
Even if you stumble sometimes, don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t concentrate on mistakes you made, focus on the fact that you tried. Be kind to yourself. This will provide you with the strength you never thought you had.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should be selfish and focus on your needs only and consequently disregard everyone else’s desires. You should always respect other people’s identities and feelings, in the same way, you should demand respect. This just means that you should stand up for yourself, but also be wise enough and know when to compromise with yourself and with others.