In modern dating, there’s really nothing off limits. There was a time when a single mother would be shunned, but now, a woman is free to do what she chooses. So would you date a single mom, and if not, why not?
Dating any woman can be rewarding, but single mom’s all have some incredible qualities in common – strength, compassion and perseverance. After all, women really need a lot of perseverance to be moms, especially with cheeky kids! It can be hard being a single mom, but would you date a single mom, or would you shy away because it’s not the easiest choice?
Moms look for guys who would accept kids in a relationship, and having certain qualities will make women want to trust you in a relationship. If you are suitable, then you could be entering one of the most important and interesting relationships of your life. Here are some signs that you are (or aren’t!) ready to date a single mom.
Would you date a single mom? Yes. Here’s a few reasons you might be ready to date a single mom.
- You’re a strong person, and you can identify that strength in other people. It’s not about physical strength – it’s the strength of a person’s emotions. You are drawn to people who are resilient, caring, no nonsense and driven. All of those qualities, you can find in a single mom.
You see a single mom as someone who has been denied the love she deserves and needs only to be cared for, just like any other human. You see that she was abandoned by someone who didn’t want the same things as her, and you want to be a safety blanket for her to fall back on. You would work to give her the kind of dating experience that women who are moms really deserve. Even though you sense there could be complications, you’re ready for a challenge if it means taking on a new and interesting life.
- You’re financially stable. You’ve probably had some money issues in the past, but now you’re making a decent wage, and you can think about other’s needs as well as your own. You work hard for what you earn, and you look for someone who is as committed to a role they are in. A single mother fits that description completely, showcasing skills that only a confident and dedicated woman can possess.
For you, taking on a woman with a child wouldn’t be an issue, because you know you can support them if they need it. You know that any mother would want what is best for their kid, and you’d never be one of those guys that overlooked that. You would care for the kid as well as the mother, though you understand that a mother is protective, and wouldn’t let just anybody get close to her children. However, you hope that once she gets to know you, she might see that you are the perfect example of a gentleman, and someone who is always trustworthy no matter what the situation is.
- You’ve got kids if your own. Maybe when you were younger, you weren’t careful with protection, or you took on parenting when you weren’t ready. Perhaps you planned a child with someone who you fell out of love with, or who left you for no reason. No matter what, experience with having a child will prove to any single mom that you have skills only parents can understand.
You know what it’s like to face the difficulties of having a child, but you also know the joys of it, and you at least have that in common with the single mom in question. You understand the hardships of late nights when the baby is crying, but how rewarding it is when they giggle or hold your hand. You did the right thing by not dismissing moms if you’re a parent yourself, because once a parent, always a parent. It’s something you never lose, and it morphs you into a stronger and better person as a rule.
- You have younger siblings, and you always spent time being protective over them. You always did right by them, and you can really use the compassion you learned from when you were kids in your relationship. You’ve always had a responsibility for your siblings, picking them up from school, dealing with the bullies they came across and giving them relationship advice as they got older. As a sibling, you have some understanding of what it’s like to be a parent, even if you aren’t actually one.
You know what it’s like to be responsible for another person, and you aren’t afraid of committing to someone who has similar responsibilities at hand. You know it can be hard work, but for all the right reasons, and the rewards you receive for your hard work make everything worth it. You’d love to be with someone who understands what it’s like to share that kind of feeling. Women love dating men just like them who understand what they’ve been through, so moms are attracted to good caregivers. They have to bear in mind their children’s future, and they would never want anything to jeopardise that, so make sure you’re a model adult before committing to a woman with kids.
- You have a big heart, and to you, it doesn’t matter what your partner is carrying on their back. Aside from the obvious obstacles facing a single mother, you know that you can be supportive of any issue that comes your way. If they have issues with the father of their child, or money problems, you know you would be willing to do anything to support a person you love, romantically or not.
A problem shared is a problem halved, and you’d be happy to help your partner through hard times and good. You would take on your fair share of the work and ensure you are the best you can possibly be. Of course, their child will be a part of that equation, and you would welcome them with open arms, so long as the mother wants you around.
Would you date a single mom? No. Here’s a few explanations why you might not be ready to date a single mom.
- You’ve never had a long-term relationship. While experience isn’t always everything, diving in headfirst with someone who has a lot more knowledge and self-awareness never works. For example, you would never commit to someone who has never had a job if you were in money troubles. It doesn’t bode well to have opposite lives, especially when they’re so drastically different.
If you’ve never been with someone for longer than a year, taking on a woman with a family is a big step. A child is a big commitment for anyone, and allowing one into your life before you’ve even had a serious relationship makes zero sense. It doesn’t mean you’re opposed to a woman with family – it’s just a big step to take all at once, especially if they have a kid. Without world knowledge, it’s irrational to go all in for someone you’re not sure you can keep up to speed with.
- You’re not financially stable. You might still be on a minimum wage job and that’s fine. You’re going at your own pace, figuring things out for yourself and working your way up to what you want in life. However, when a child is involved, you can’t be thinking about yourself. A child should always be the priority in any situation, and if you haven’t found the ability to even take care of yourself yet, how do you expect to be involved with a woman and a child?
You have yourself to worry about, and you understand how supporting a child costs a lot more money than you have. Though the child isn’t ultimately your responsibility, you want to wait to be a part of a child’s life until you can offer more than just affection. You understand that the level of maturity needed to go with a woman with kids isn’t suited to you just yet, even if you want it for yourself in the future. For now, you know you’re better dating someone casually and without extra strings attached.
- You’re an only child. You might never have had much contact with children, and perhaps your friends don’t have kids yet either. You can’t remember ever holding a baby, or being a child-minder when you were younger. You haven’t even held a baby, as far as you can remember.
In other words, you have no clue how to handle kids. A single mom will be looking for someone with experience with children, and you’re not able to offer that just yet. Though it’s not the sole thing the woman will be looking for, it certainly would help for them to have someone with experience in their life. It’s a large commitment to take on, and you don’t know how you’d handle it just yet, which is fine. You’re clearly not ready for the demands of a child and her mother, so it doesn’t make sense for you to enter a relationship with a single mom.
- You never want children, like many women and men out there. Some guys don’t, and that’s just fine. Though you think it’s fine for other people to be involved with children, you can’t see the appeal yourself, at least not at this point in time. You want to put as much distance between you and them as possible.
If you did date a woman with a child, it would feel too strange for you, so you’ve put the possibility off the table. As much as you’d like to be fine with it, you’re not, and your reasons are justified. Since a kid is a large part of a single mom’s life, it would become a part of yours too, which isn’t what you want. It’s common sense for anyone who doesn’t want kids to avoid dating single moms.
- You’re still a little immature. You like to party, socialise and stay up late watching movies because you can, and there’s nothing stopping you. You come home from work at a nine to five job, and you think about what you want to do that evening without having to consider anyone else. You can eat what you want, sleep when you want and do what you want, which suits you to a tee.
And that’s fine. A single mom, or any mom for that matter, has a lot of responsibility, and they have to care for their children at all times. You’re still young, and you want to be able to date someone who can go out with you partying. You want someone who can finish their work day and focus their attention solely on you. With a child in the mix, that would never be possible. Would you date a single mom? Probably not. You’re not ready yet, and you know that she’s better with someone more at her level. That person isn’t you just now, but you’re open to the idea in the future.
If you do decide to date a single mom, it is a large responsibility, but it’s a rewarding one. No matter how scary the idea may be, a child in your life is a blessing, not a curse. You can learn to adapt and be the best possible partner. Your new partner will be there to help set the boundaries and make you feel comfortable as you ease into a relationship.
Don’t be put off single moms so easily! If you have a serious reason, then fair enough, a single mom can be a heavier experience than casual dating. But there’s plenty to gain from being with a mom in any situation, so you should never rule it out completely. But there’s no need to take our word for it – there’s many single moms looking for love right now, and you might be able to fill the space in their heart!