To the person who hurt me the most,

You didn’t mean to hurt me because I know you loved me, but you didn’t do the best that you could. But you broke my heart. You are the person who hurt me the most. You left deep scars and they may never heal. I was scared that you will walk out of my life. And every time I thought about that I could feel the pain I would have. You thought I would break after you left. And you were right for a while. But guess what: I rebuild myself. I’m stronger than I was. And you are the reason I grew. I must extend to you my utmost gratitude.

I’m thankful to you because you are the person who made me realize that I’m stronger. That I’m much more than what you made me out to be. I found myself in the process of losing you. And I learned a lot. Because of you, I learned how to truly forgive. Because of you, I learned how to truly love myself. The journey to finding my way was life-changing. After losing you I grew stronger. I am wiser now.

The difference between you and I is that my love is unwavering. It is a love that is deep inside of my soul and gives restoration to my faith in other people. It is a love that I was taught when I was a little girl. People in this world are going to hurt me. They have, and they will again. They will love me and they will hate me. Sometimes they will do both, as you have decided to do. You have shattered my heart, but you have not shattered my love. Love is not something that is cast aside and broken.

I can guard my heart now and still give it to people. Because I grew emotionally stronger. I can say I’m OK when people talk about you and I really mean it. I can trust again. And I can be open with the people I love and care about. I can give my love to the people again, I’m not scared anymore that they would leave like you did. In the most depressing situations, I can find joy. And I’m thankful to you for hurting me this way because without it I wouldn’t be who I am today.

I want to thank you for cheating and lying. I want to thank you for the pain and the hurt you caused. Thank you for breaking me down so I can build myself back up. I want to thank you for the tears you made me cry. I want to thank you for all the times you made me feel miserable, not good enough. Thank you.

I want you to know that I loved you. On the days that you were pleasant and kind and also the days you were unrecognizable to me, I loved you. And I loved you through changing circumstance and the rapid movement of time. I even loved you when you decided that you didn’t love me anymore. I think a part of me still loves you. But what I want you to know most is that I still love myself, and I still know what love really is.

The best decision I made was to finally forgive you and accept that you will never know how badly you hurt me. And it’s okay now. I couldn’t change what had happened, but I could forgive. As a matter of fact, I need to thank you.

I don’t hate you because you left. I did hate you for some time, but I can’t hate you anymore, even if I wanted to.I don’t hate you even for all the things you did to me. Yes, you were the person who hurt me the most. But you were the person who taught me the most. You are the person who allowed me to rebuild myself as someone better, someone stronger. I owe you everything I am today and I am truly grateful for the opportunity to flourish that you afforded to me without even knowing it.

But remember: the thing that hurts you the most can teach you the best lessons of life.

Thank you.

 

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