Emotionally Abusive Relationship
It’s not unusual that each of us, in one stage of our life, was dealing with emotional abuse. Some of us didn’t even know that they were going through that kind of abuse. We didn’t know, and we don’t know what we are dealing with.
It’s about pathological lying, narcissism, and about the abusive partner. But the worst thing is we might think that is something wrong with us. Because they will claim that we are crazy and overreacting.
You and I, and all of us can be in an emotionally abusive relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend, wife or husband, or friend, even with a family member.
An abuser wants to control us, control our behavior, emotions, and other things. With them, we lose confidence, self-worth, and many other things. Their methods and ways are lying, accusing, blaming and denial. And in the end, we become the bad one, not them.
These following things are usually for an emotional abuse, and if you are experiencing any of them, you are in an emotionally abusive relationship.
- You are always the one who is guilty. It’s all your fault. And you are the one who causes all problems. ( Blaming and Accusing)
- They want to diminish you and control you, so he withholds appreciation, approval, information, and others. Very often he doesn’t want to listen to you, he’s constantly ignoring you. And he gives you the silent treatment. (Punishment by Withholding)
- Just to frustrate you and wear you down, he uses contradicting arguments no matter what you say. He disapproves and opposes everything yours. (Contradicting)
- You always have to defend yourself because he criticizes you in that way. He refuses to talk with you, he twists your words, or he just walks out of the room while you’re talking. (Blocking and diverting)
- When you want to talk about his abuse he denies everything. And again you are the one who is imagining things, or you are hypersensitive, or you are the one who can never be happy. (Discounting)
- There is no doubt that he wants to doubt your reality, and he wants you to second guess about yourself. Constantly he twists your words, and he is blaming you. He wants to confuse you and make you the crazy one. (General crazy-making)
- For him, constructive criticism is when he unfairly and harshly criticizes you. And for him, that’s his way to help you.(Judging and criticizing)
- He makes fun of you in public. He humiliates you with sarcastic remarks about your everything, your personality, appearance and other. And when you ask him to stop, he claims that you are just too sensitive or you can’t take a joke. (Disparaging humor)
- Very often he breaks his promises, he minimizes your effort or hobbies. And he forgets the things that are important to you. (Undermining and forgetting)
Your partner may use body language to control you because the abusive behavior is not always verbal. He is playing the victim, he yells just to shut you down, he laughs at your opinion, he wants to scare you with hitting something. Very often he rolls his eyes when you are talking to him. Or he refuses to make eye contact, and others similar things.