Betrayal is probably the worst thing in the world. However, it is only possible when someone gains your trust when you feel like that person is good enough to become the part of your life. You share every moment of your life with that person, whether that moment is good or bad. You trust that person with your life. That is exactly why betrayal hurts so badly. This may lead us to the conclusion that we are the ones who are really responsible when someone betrays us. We obviously made a huge mistake when we let that toxic person be the part of our lives.
But are we really that naïve or are they that good at pretending? Whatever the case is, I personally think that it is much better to be a little naïve than to be a pretender or a fake and toxic person. I had this friend; she was like a sister to me. We shared everything, our hopes, and dreams, our fears and apparently – my boyfriend. She knew everything about our relationship. Every up and every down we’ve ever been through. He was my everything, it sounds so cheesy, I know. He was the most beautiful man on this planet, the smartest person I knew, the perfect guy. Or was he?
I thought our relationship was going to last forever; I was convinced that we were going to get married, his mother was my second mom, you already know how it goes. All of a sudden, he began to change. There was just something different, his behavior started to change. He had to think through every single one of his answers, he was much more careful about everything he was doing and I could tell. Us girls, we simply can tell. I didn’t really know what to think about that, so I asked my best friend of course.
I wanted to hear her opinion because that is the first thing you do when you have a certain problem in your relationship. You ask your best damn friend for her opinion and advice. They were never really friends; at least that’s what I thought. They were much more than friends. He was cheating on me with my best friend for months. They had spare cell phones and phone numbers so that they could communicate and keep in touch. My car was apparently their favorite hiding place.
His best friend saw me at the mall one day and asked me to meet him for a cup of coffee. I knew immediately something bad was about to happen because we weren’t really close. He couldn’t keep his mouth shut anymore and he felt obligated to tell me about their affair. My whole world fell apart, the life I had disappeared in one single moment… I wanted to cry and scream at the same moment, but I couldn’t say a single word. It was like someone had punched me in my gut. I sold my car as soon as I found out about their little affair. I felt like a proper piece of shit. The worst feeling ever, that’s for sure.
I kicked him out of our apartment and decided to get my life back. I don’t really know how I did that, I guess I wasn’t aware of my own strength. For the first few months I was telling everyone about how my best friend stole my boyfriend but then it hit me – can a person really be stolen? Is that even possible? What happens when someone you really love ends up with someone you really care about? How to deal with that? How strongly do you have to be to deal with that? It sure hurts like hell but at the end of the day, you can only do one thing – thank them both.
They were, and still are, assholes. That’s for sure.But they have taught me one great lesson: a person cannot be stolen, it was not meant to be anyway. That is exactly why you should thank them both. Thank them also, for making you a stronger person, because that’s what you will become once the healing process is done.
Sometimes we need to get hurt in order to grow. Unexpected breakups are very rough to deal with. They drain all the energy from your body, mind, and soul. And that is normal. That is why the whole healing process is very important. It may sound like a cliché but it is ok to take all the time you need in order to feel yourself again. If you feel like crying, cry your heart out, there’s nothing wrong with that. At the end of the day, you are your own best friend and only you know what you need in that moment. If you don’t feel fine, don’t lie to yourself and don’t lie to others when they ask you how you feel. It is normal to feel broken, but you need to pick up the pieces and find the path to yourself again. When one door closes, another opens.
Everything happens for a reason – another cliché, but this time the reason is really obvious. That person was not meant to be with you, that person didn’t even love you. That person was with you because he or she is insecure and you were giving him or her that feeling of security. In the end, it is very important to understand that you can’t let those negative thoughts and feelings affect your whole life and more importantly: never blame yourself! The process of healing has come to an end when you realize that it was really not your fault. That is when you will be able to continue with your life and be able to appreciate all the good things that life has to offer. The key is not to give up and keep your chin up!