Life Relationships

A Comparison Will Kill You – Be Yourself No Matter What

Written by Deborah Carbone

Theodore Roosevelt once said: “Comparison is the thief of joy”. I couldn’t agree more. I think that people, in general, compare themselves to others because they are not happy or satisfied with who they are.

That is why it is very important to be yourself because no one else can be you and down the line, you will understand that you can’t be anyone else but yourself. A comparison will kill you. Once you realize that, you will be unstoppable. You will also be genuinely happy. We all want to be happy, that is our main goal in life, right?

I believe that comparison is the sign of weak character, weakness in general and insecurity. Insecure people will do everything and more just to convince themselves that they are better than others when they really are not. You are not better than anyone as long as you feel the need to compare yourself with anyone else. The comparison is your worst enemy. You will get so caught up in thinking about others, you will waste your precious time and energy trying to convince yourself that you are something you are not.

And why do we do that? Because it is easier to convince yourself that you are something or someone than to actually go out there and become that person. Becoming that person is hard, it is a big process. You have to work on yourself, mentally and physically.

Usually, we know that we are capable of doing more, we know that we are able to become something bigger but it takes time and effort. It is easier to tell yourself lies that you want to hear because, you know, when you say a lie for a thousand times, it becomes the truth, right? Yea… Well… No.

That’s not how it works. Set some goals you want to achieve in your life, strive for something and give your life a meaning. Don’t just exist, what is the point of that? Live. Be special because you are special. Every person is special. Every single one of us has some kind of special talent, something to offer. Find it and do it better than anyone else. Work so hard that you don’t even have time to think about others. The comparison is just a waste of time; you will end up being a bitter person without any joy in your life.

What’s the life without joy? A waste. End that vicious cycle and don’t compare yourself to anyone. However, can it be possible to use comparison as your weapon? What if there actually is a way to become a happier person by comparing yourself to someone? What if I tell you that you can use comparison as your tool? Yes, the comparison is a bad thing, we established that, but I believe that sometimes if you use it right, a comparison can motivate you to do greater things. But, in order to use comparison as your tool, you have to believe in yourself, be yourself and respect yourself. You have to be happy with who you are and you have to know when and where to compare yourself to others. I will call it the positive comparison.

The positive comparison is used on purpose. It makes you work harder, be better and do better. It is a competition where the main goal is to achieve the well being of everyone. It’s the competition in doing good. That is the only situation in which comparing yourself to others is not a bad thing to do. Everything other than that is just a waste of time.

You have to focus on yourself and be yourself. And how can you actually become yourself and be yourself? You have to work on yourself. The first step is to realize that you need to work on yourself. Once you do that, you need some motivation to actually work on yourself every day. It can be the positive comparison that I already explained, or it can be something else. A certain dream or a goal you have and want to achieve.

Try something new every day, try to do something you’ve never done before, it will help you in becoming that person you always wanted to be. Don’t just be an empty face, be brave and actually make something of yourself. Even if you don’t really have the clear vision of your future self and if you’re still not sure what you want to become, go out there and meet new people. Introduce yourself, exchange numbers with them, and make new friends.

Who knows, maybe one day you will need some help and that is why it is important to have acquaintances. Maybe they will need help and then you will be able to compare yourself in helping others – again positive comparison. Always strive to be the best person you can be and eventually you will become that person. It is all in your head really, convince you that you will do good and be good to yourself and to others. Once you believe that, miracles will happen. Always be open to new challenges because they are what changes you and makes you grow as a person.

I am telling you all of this because the whole point is: don’t strive to be someone you’re already not. If you do that, you will never be happy. You will never be at peace and satisfied with yourself. That is simply impossible.

Learn about yourself, understand what you like and what you don’t like. Build your personality and embrace everything that you are. And last but not least, stop concerning about what others think about you. That will only put you down and once again – you will only waste your time trying to be the person someone else wants you to be. Nothing good will come of that. And one more thing, don’t try to be perfect. No one is perfect and that is perfectly fine. Like Oscar Wilde once said: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

About the author

Deborah Carbone

I'm a Life and Relationship Coach with 5 years experience of coaching and training. I work with overwhelmed women guiding them through all kinds of life and career transitions so that they can make big changes in their lives.
Writing is my passion and I am here to help you through every phase of your life. I hope you'll enjoy.