Since we can remember, we are taught to love and respect our parents. They are our protectors, best friends and want what is best for us. At least in most cases. But, what about the cases when one of them is everything but that? What to do when you have a toxic dad?
It is not uncommon for men to think they have “divorced” their children when they divorce their wives. When a father leaves your home, he often leaves you with mixed emotions and feelings.
When you are a little kid, you may not understand what is happening and you just notice your dad is not as around as much as he was. This is when your father keeps making false promises that the two of you will spend quality time together, but never fulfills them.
As the time passes, you become more and more aware that he is simply someone you cannot count on. On the other hand, if your dad leaves during your teen years, you may ask yourself if you did something wrong. You are confused how come that the person who should always be there for you in this transitional period of your life just isn’t around. When someone leaves, we usually consider it a personal rejection. But you should never feel guilty and always remember that it is not your fault!
Another example of toxic fathers is when your dad is around but is abusive, alcoholic or simply never supports you or makes an effort to understand you. Growing up in an abusive or unhealthy environment with a negative person always around you can be even more emotionally damaging for a person than growing up without a father figure.
A father should be someone that you can look up to, but instead, for you, he represents everything you don’t want to become. Again, it is not your fault. Your parents, as adults, should provide you with the best childhood they can.
Although you feel like having a toxic father emotionally and mentally scarred you for life, you should make the best of it. First of all, now you know what kind of parent and person you should never be. Besides that, you are probably more mature and stronger than other people your age.
By not being emotionally connected with your father, you will not allow yourself to be emotionally dependent on anyone in your life. What is a simple break-up compared to the things you have gone through? But, that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to love other people in your life. In contrary, you have a special ability to recognize the people worthy of your love.