How to deal with a toxic person
Everyone deals with toxic people in their lives at some point. They’re often difficult to shake off – they become entwined in your life and then you don’t know how to stand up to them. However, just because it’s difficult, it doesn’t mean you should feel like you need to let toxic people in your life. If someone is affecting your life in a negative way, it’s important that you extract them from your life. It’s for your own good, and we’re here to help you remove the bad person’s control from your life. Here are some tips on how to deal with a toxic person when you feel like you need to make a new life and a journey to self-care.
How to deal with a toxic person: Step One
An important part of how to deal with a toxic person is isolating them when they’re acting up. It seems cruel, but you have to make them see that their behaviours won’t be tolerated. It is in your self interest to feel comfortable in your own life, so when your relationships with your peers are poor, it’s going to be necessary to take some initiative and find a way to take toxic people down.
If these people make a joke at someone’s expense, for example, don’t laugh or smile. Don’t give them an opportunity to put someone else down. If they fall flat, they’ll learn from their mistake and hopefully stop acting on cruel behaviours. It’s just doing what’s best for everyone, so don’t let them try to regain control. You have a right to speak up. If you do your best and you still need to find a way to end toxic people, you just need to continue to work at it.
If you start doing this, other people will catch on too, and in the end, it’ll take the toxic person down a peg or two. Be careful not to seem snide – don’t call them out just yet. They’ll jump on that, and make it seem like you’re the person in the wrong. Tread carefully, but once you set the ball rolling, other people will be more inclined to join you. If you’re going to do it, do it right. It will be a big help to everyone, and it’ll be good for your reputation.
How to deal with a toxic person: Step Two
Step two is patience. People don’t change overnight, and it may take some time and hard work to see any change at all in them. However, you must make it your goal to keep up your pretence. Letting it slip will mean they go back to their old ways and you’ll feel like you’re back at square one. For now, you have the control, and it’s best to keep it that way. If you think an action is going to affect your efforts, don’t do it. You need to keep going all the way to the end to feel the effects of your relentless work.
Make sure you don’t ever give in to their bad behaviours, or reward their negative interactions. It can be difficult, as toxic people are often relentless in their snide jokes and in putting people down. Perseverance will pay off eventually, though, so keep at it. If you think it could help, share the load with someone you trust. Remember – though it’s difficult, you’re in the right. People will want to help you, and share the control of the situation. The best way to take on any work load is to find good allies and stick with them.
How to deal with a toxic person: Step Three
It’s finally time to confront the person on their behaviours. It’s been weeks, and they’re still not getting that their behaviours are bad. At this point, it’s fine to tell them that they’re in the wrong. If they’re going to carry on causing issues, it’s their own fault when good people start pulling them up on their actions. Their defences are weakened, and people are more likely to side with you now that they’ve seen the person’s true colours. It doesn’t have to be a malicious attack – just tell the person that you don’t like what they’re doing, and politely ask them to stop. Toxic people don’t like confrontation, and they may lash out, but you know that you’re not the problem, so there’s no need to fear rebuff from others. If they’re decent people, they’ll back you up. If this doesn’t work, it could be that the toxic man or woman is too out of control to be helped. If this is the case, it’s not your fault. You tried, and you also found a way to knock them down, which is what matters most.
How to deal with a toxic person: Step Four
Everyone deserves a second chance at redemption, especially if they dropped their act after Step Two. Even if the toxic person persevered until the end, let them know you’re happy to give them another shot. You’re a bigger person than they are, and your behaviours will hopefully positively influence them, especially since you had the guts to call them out. They’ll thank you for that in the long run. From these four stages, you’ll see the toxic person emerge as a better person. That’s when you know you’ve learnt how to deal with a toxic person.