If he is turning off a fire in you and your heart, probably it isn’t the real love, and it never was.

 

How to let go at the same time, the greatest and worst love in your life? This question sounds a little bit like an oxymoron, but sometimes all of us need to let go that kind of ‘love‘.

Your falls maybe is the worst scars which you have experienced as an adult woman, but they are pale when we compare them to the climbs that are waiting for you.

The depth of your love was infinite. You gave that man all you have, and everything you got was one big nothing. You were kind, unselfish, but you have been left with emptiness on your left side. One big hole in your heart which is begging for more air to feel alive again.

I have gone through all that. And to be honest, all that process wasn’t easy, wasn’t easy at all. It was the hardest thing in my life. And I still miss him every minute, every day. Most days I feel like there is no heart in my chest. I have a feeling that part of me, part of my body is missing. But I miss his presence only.

But I learned many, many things from the pain I was going through. One of them is that there is no universal solution for this kind of relationships. It’s all on you. You need to ask yourself do you want to feel useless and miserable all your life? Do you want every night to fall asleep in tears?  Do you?

Darling, be honest to yourself. He is not for you. You deserve better, a much better.

There is no doubt that you will miss him, you will. A few days, a few months and even a few years. But you will be alive, you will be happy, even without him. And that’s only what’s matter.

There are limits that no one ever could cross, and he was crossing them all the time. You loved him, you made him feel loved. And you forgave him all because you loved him. You forgave him things that no one would ever have. But he continued to cross the boundaries of the normal. He kept making you a crazy one. Because of him, you felt like a miserable one. And you were never enough. Every day he wanted more and more.

Damn, you were alone in that relationship. Because he never looked at you like you were looking at him.

He never loved you as much as you loved him.

You didn’t deserve living that way. You have to put a point on all of that.

When it’s about me, I could not figure out how I could unconditionally forgive that little asshole all things he was doing to me. But I did, I forgave him everything.

Because I know I gave all my best, and I gave him all I ever had. Also, I loved him as hard as I could. And the saddest thing is that all of it wasn’t enough.

He wanted something different, someone, who is not me. Someone who does not like me at all. I hope he will find that girl, and I hope that he will be happy. And I pray that he never come back to me. I know that I’m stronger, I know that I’m wiser now.But what I fell for him is same, I just can’t hate him. Also, I know that I’m better on my own. Never, ever, I will not allow myself to fall back on his words.

Maybe I will love him forever, but there is no place for him in my life. There is a life without him, I know it now. The sun still shines. Happiness is still here in my life. He is just a cloud that hides the sun and causes the rain. I don’t like rain, I don’t like rain at all. So that cloud will never come back to me. I will not allow it.

Darling, you also don’t need that damn cloud in your life. You don’t need rain, you need sunshine. You need to feel alive again. And you can succeed, and you will.

Forgive him all, just forgive him. But never let him come back in your life.

He will be the same. That kind of guys will never change. No matter what he says, he will be the same piece of shit. Forgive him but don’t fall for that crap again. Please, don’t fall.

Just find beauty in everything, live your life, enjoy the little things, because you deserve it.

You are perfect just the way you are. And you don’t need him to be happy.

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