I know that we are no longer together but I still love you. You are still my favorite part of me.
I know that we no longer wake up next to each other in the cold mornings intertwined in sheets. I know that we don’t call each other “babe” and go on little road trips when we are feeling spontaneous. But every day you are on my mind.
It took me a little while to say goodbye, but to be honest, I didn’t want to say that goodbye. But I had to. Because of my health, because I was dying. I couldn’t live on that way anymore. And you made it easier because you left first.
But I, I was walking away so slowly, because I thought that you were following me. I thought that if I waited long enough, just let you have my heart for a little longer, that you would run after me. I was wrong. And it wasn’t the goodbye that hurt. It was the aftermath. The downfall.
All I wanted is to be with you. So much. I am scared of starting over, of letting someone else in because I am still so desperate to hold onto to something that had been over for so long.
It hurt so much. Because I gave you everything and then some. I was the perfect girlfriend. I was thoughtful, I put you first and I opened my heart to you.
Today it is so hard to find someone who is genuine, who isn’t full of themselves and doesn’t expect perfection. I wanted the best for you.
But you didn’t want me at all. I know all that, but I still can’t stop thinking about you. Nothing can’t help me to get over you. Because you find a safe place in my heart, and I locked you there, and then I lost the key. You took that damn with you when you left.
I know that relationships are hard and I am sorry that ours did not work out. At the end of the day, I just want you happy and I hope that you are able to find that very thing.