I have had every bad boyfriend under the sun. It sometimes seems like you have to go through all of the bad experiences to get the good ones. I’ve had boyfriends who lie, who cheat, who insult me and make me feel small. I know I can be a good girlfriend and have a successful relationship with someone I like, but first, I have to be given an opportunity to find a new guy. Now, with the future facing me, I am looking for someone who meets a very specific checklist. I’m looking for a decent person who would like to be more than friends, but I want to be my man’s best friend – that shouldn’t be this hard to find, right? But I won’t compromise anymore, and everything has to be perfect. I need a boyfriend who can give me the following things:
I need a boyfriend who supports my dreams
I’m tired of dating people who don’t even attempt to understand or care about what my ambitions are. I have always dreamed of being a writer, and every partner I’ve had so far has either turned their nose up at me, or has taken no interest when I talk about it. It doesn’t help matters when I’m always willing to support them, and I don’t get anything back. Never compromise when it comes to your dreams – if someone doesn’t want to know, make it your goal not to want to know them either.
I need a boyfriend who texts back within good time
There have been so many nights where I’ve waited for hours to hear from my partner, half expecting them to send a text any minute. I don’t like to be kept waiting, and yet I spend hours looking at my watch and waiting for a call. They could easily be out with other girls. I’ve learned since that people don’t always ‘forget’ to respond – they just seemingly have something better to do. If someone can’t find the time to text you back, don’t bother replying to them again. They’re not worth your time.
My boyfriend must make time for me
If they keep cancelling plans on you, or abandon you in favour of going out with your friends, then you’re clearly not a priority to them. They pass your quizzes with the blink of an eye, constantly lying to you so they can get out of seeing you. I need a boyfriend who understands that time is precious with your partner, and shouldn’t be shoved aside for a ‘better’ offer. The time should also be of good quality – I want someone who will go to fun places with me, or take me to my favorite restaurant for no occasion at all. Only then will I know I’ve found someone who suits me.
They must appreciate me
If I crack a good joke, I want them to laugh. If I cook them dinner, I want them to thank me. And if I travel half way across the country to see them, I want them to be grateful for my dedication. If I tag them in online quizzes, I want them to respond as a friend would – with appreciation and the knowledge that I was thinking of them. It’s not about getting praise for everything, but rather just knowing they don’t take me for granted. I need a boyfriend who loves me as I am, and appreciates the way I am.
My boyfriend must be committed
There’s no room for anyone else in my life, and I don’t want them to have some other person on the side. If I don’t fill the space in their lives, then they can be with someone else – just not at the same time. And I need a boyfriend who wants to be with me and only me, and preferably with the intent of being together long term.
I need a boyfriend who makes me laugh
I won’t compromise on this one. I’m sick of going on boring dates with people with no sense of humour. If they can’t make me laugh once in a while, what’s the point? I don’t care whether they make puns, jokes or witty one liners – so long as they’re good. I can’t help but be attracted to someone funny, so it’s a priority for me now when I’m looking for someone to settle down with. Is that awkward of me? Probably. Do I care? Nope!
They must stick with me through the hard times
It may appear from this article that I have high standards, but it’s only because I’ve been let down so much in the past. One of the main let downs have been the boys who run away at the first sign of trouble. I can be difficult to be with – after all, who can’t? – but I will not accept that as a reason to give up on someone. I need a boyfriend who can handle me at my worst as well as at my best. Who knows when I might find that – but when I do, I think I will know straight away.
I may not have found a guy like this yet. I haven’t found anyone who treats girls the way I want to be treated, but it doesn’t mean they’re not out there. Watch this space – I’m going to find him.