Healing a Broken Relationship in Three Simple Steps
Healing a broken relationship is no easy feat. When the trust is gone, it is hard to get your love back on track, no matter what you do or say. Relationships are fragile, and sometimes they need help to ensure they’re healthy, especially when people make mistakes that bring the whole world crashing down. Whether there was cheating or lying involved, or you argue a lot, or you’re suspicious of one another, it can feel like there is no way to get back to how you were. But with a lot of time, effort and perseverance, healing a broken relationship is possible. Here is how you do it.
You address what the problem is, and start to work on your flaws
This stage comes in several parts: listening, talking honestly, and building. You must always listen to what your partner has to say before you dive in with accusations or get defensive. It works both ways – you have to understand where the other person is coming from. For this, you need real human contact. Never have this conversation over the phone, though it can be tempting when faced with such a scary conversation. Give the pair of you some privacy, and then get down to talking.
Only then can you express the way that you’re feeling. Once you know what’s going through the other person’s mind, you can relate your feelings to theirs, and begin to compare what you are going through. Explain where you’re coming from. Honesty is the best policy, so don’t hold back. You need to make your feelings plain and simple so that your beau can understand what you’re going through, even though often, it’s a complex feeling. It’ll help you understand yourself too, and improve your mental health.
Once you’ve both heard the other’s side of the story, you can begin to identify where it’s going wrong for each of you. Perhaps you think your partner is selfish, and they think you’re controlling, for example. In this case, you might decide that the issue is that you’re not making time for one another, which is making you clingy and your partner feels the need to pull away. If this is the case, you would then find a method to work on this issue, such as designating quality time together each day where you shut off from the rest of the world and just enjoy the other’s company. This is just an example, but every problem has a solution, even if it might not be immediately obvious. If you get through this stage, you’re doing great.
Have a little patience
So the hard part is seemingly over. You’ve both got real about your emotions, and now all the cards are laid on the table. You’ve got it all out in the privacy of your home, without making a big public scene and embarrassing yourself. That’s great! You think things are going to be fine. But you’ll still both be feeling anxious. There will be times where you don’t always trust one another, especially after the trust has been shattered before. Healing a broken relationship is not something that happens overnight, after all. Honesty may be the best policy, but if you’ve never been honest with one another in the past, it’s unlikely you’ll do it right away. Even if you do, you may not trust that the other person is doing the same. You must work at your trust all the time, and reassure your partner whenever you can. When there’s an issue, talk about it again. You must keep up this contact and connection to ensure results for you and your partner. It’s not a case of blurting out your feelings once and then closing off again forever. It’s an ongoing conversation, and one of the most important ones to have in the time while you’re together. You must always be aware of one another’s feelings and take them into account when sorting through your issues.
When things are smoothed over, don’t go back to old habits
An old dog can’t learn new tricks, but you’re not an old dog. You have plenty more time to learn, and find ways to heal that suit both you and your partner. When you learn the way to heal your love, stick with it. Going back to your old ways is damaging both to you and to your relationship – it’s a step backwards when you’ve taken five forwards. It can easy to believe that if you’ve been forgiven once, you’ll be forgiven again. That’s why so many people fall victim to being cheated on multiple times. But actions must have consequences – if you or your partner keep falling back into your old ways and hurting each other, it might be time to call it a day. If you still love them, but you can’t help but keep damaging them, then you shouldn’t hold on to what you used to have. It’s safer and healthier to let them go, before someone really gets hurt.
There are always options you can try – you could contact a therapist, and see if that might work for you as a pair. However, sometimes, healing a broken relationship isn’t possible. On the other hand, if you’re willing to work at it every day and follow these steps, you’re headed in the right direction.