For so long, I was the one who didn’t want anything serious. It helped me read little signs my best friend’s new “boyfriend” was just like me. I took it on myself to protect my girls from getting hurt. So, if you’re among my close friends and you were shining bright and emitting that new-love glow, I most probably tried shattering it to pieces. The truth is, you knew he wasn’t up for anything serious yet you fell for him. Who am I to stop you?
I realized this long into being the main party-breaker. It’s not on me to protect you from your feelings. Sure, I can warn you and try to help you avoid a broken heart. After that, it’s all on you. And you know what? Fall for a person who doesn’t want anything serious. Maybe you need that experience to help you grow.
The truth is, you might never know you dodged a bullet by letting that new interest of yours fade away- so you may never learn from it as deeply as you could. So, go for it. Fall for those who clearly stated they don’t want to fall for anyone now.
It’s so hard for people to understand it, because we were being fed stories about changing people and waiting for the right person. So, when you tell them you don’t want a relationship- they might take that as a challenge to change you.
Emotions can get intense and what looks like a nice hangout to a no-commitment person, for the person on the other side- it becomes everything they think about. So, if you’re the one who can’t sleep at night because you can’t stop thinking about last night- it’s okay. Let yourself feel this. If they can’t commit to you and you keep running into their walls- it’s not a failure, it’s a learning experience. You will find out so much about yourself in this process; you will meet a completely new you and get to know the limits this new person is willing to push through.
If you’re on the other end, don’t feel too guilty. You were honest from the very beginning and people fall in love despite the walls you built. Don’t confuse them, keep being honest and act as you feel. If your walls are suddenly falling, great, try it out. If they’re as high as they’ve ever been- you didn’t hide their existence to start with.
If you’re a third party observing all this happen, let it be. People will do things despite your advices. Let them feel what they need to feel and learn from it.