We have all had our heart broken at some point. It’s an unavoidable part of life. But handling a broken heart requires care and delicacy. When you’re watching someone fall apart, there are some things that you simply don’t do. We have compiled a definitive list to make sure you know how to put someone back together when they’re falling apart.
1. They don’t want to hear how much better things will get.
Right now, they know that nothing will make them feel much better. They know that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but they don’t want to hear about that. Telling them that things will improve only serves to remind them of the pain they’re feeling now. It also makes them realise that things aren’t going to go back to the way they wanted it. It’s best to focus on the present and not the future.
2. They don’t want to be patronized
These girls are sick of being made to feel like their feelings are irrelevant. They don’t want to be told that there are plenty more fish in the sea, or that nothing lasts in the long run. This negativity is exactly the opposite of what they need. Right now, they’re mourning something they’ve lost, and they need to take the time to do it properly.
3. They don’t want you to insult their partner
Some people think it’s a good idea to insult the ex in question. Making fun of the ex can lighten the mood, and maybe it can make the broken hearted girl smile for a minute. However, deep down, it feels awful. If they’ve been with someone for a long time, hearing you ripping into them just makes them feel like all along, they made a bad choice by dating them. If they start questioning themselves, they’ll begin to think they should’ve seen this coming all along. Even if they start insulting the ex, don’t take the bait. Remind them that they had some good times too, and that nothing should be done with regrets.
4. They don’t want to go out on the pull
Everyone thinks it’s a good idea to celebrate freedom from a partnership with a few drinks and a night out. This is often the case! It helps people let loose and have some fun. But it can also end in tears – especially if they feel pressured to hook up with someone. There’s a reason they’re broken-hearted, and kissing someone else will just remind them what they’re missing. Of course, it’s the girl’s choice, but never put pressure on her to move on so fast – it never ends well.
5. They don’t want to be reminded that other people are happy in love
They don’t want to listen to love songs. They don’t want to see the cute new chick-flick at the cinema. They don’t want to see couples walking hand in hand. If you’re in a relationship and spend a lot of time with your significant other, it might be best to tone it down in public and on social media. It’s a small sacrifice to make for a friend who is struggling.
6. They don’t want to feel guilty about moving on
Sometimes love hits you at an unexpected time. You might have just gone through a bad breakup, but if you think you’ve found The One, you don’t want that to hold you back. Don’t tell your friend that they’re moving too quickly, or that they’re only on the rebound. This may be the case, but sometimes you need to step back and allow them to make their own decisions. Always support your friends, and be there if they need you to pick up the pieces again. Some people are more unlucky in love, and if your friend falls in that category, it’s likely they need a strong support system – that’s you!