How to notice if you’re dating someone toxic
We’ve all watched those films where a girl gets led on by a boy for the entire thing, only to be let down by him. When you’re all loved up, it can sometimes be hard to see when someone is mistreating you – especially when some signs are more subtle than others. Here are some of the main signs you’re in the wrong relationship.
1. Your friends don’t like your partner
No one likes to be told by their friends that they’re dating someone awful. It feels like a personal attack, or like they’re assessing your judgement. But if your friends don’t like your partner, it’s often a big deal. Your friends know you better than anyone, and they see your relationship from an outside view. If they think you’re being mistreated, or they think your partner is no good, they’re probably right. After all, they don’t stand to gain from telling you you’re in a bad relationship – it’s more likely to backfire on them when you get upset. Take them seriously. Friends always know best.
2. Your partner is possessive
If your partner has stopped you from seeing certain friends, or tries to monopolise your time, it can be a pretty big warning sign that you should get out ASAP. While it’s nice to want to be around your partner a lot (and they should want to spend a lot of time with you), when it effects the rest of your life, it’s gone too far. Don’t sacrifice everything for your partner – friends and family are just as important, if not more. Unless it’s looking like it’ll be a long term relationship, your family and friends have priority. After all, they’ve been around much longer.
3. Your partner belittles you
If your partner is constantly making you feel like you’re stupid, or that they’re better than you, they’re not worth a second more of your time. This type of bullying is the worst, because it makes you idolise the person who is making you feel worthless. No matter what, this is an unacceptable habit. Never stay with someone who doesn’t consider you an equal.
4. Your partner doesn’t argue like an adult
If shouting at one another, or sitting in passive aggressive silence sounds familiar, you’re probably not right for each other. There’s a lack of communication evident in this situation, and if you’re not equipped to talk it over with one another, then what’s the point? This is a problem that can sometimes be solved, but if it continues, it’s best to call it a day – especially if arguing is a regular occurrence.
5. Your partner doesn’t support your dreams
This can fall under your partner belittling you. If you have a big dream, that’s great. What isn’t great is when your partner doesn’t seem to care. If they dismiss your ideas and the things you’re passionate about, it sounds like you’re not compatible – especially if you find yourself supporting them, and getting nothing back.
6. Your partner doesn’t make time for you
Life gets busy sometimes. It’s inevitable. You won’t always be able to spend every day together, especially if you both work and live apart. But when your partner seems to have time for everyone but you, it’s a sign that maybe they don’t care as much as you’d like. It’s better to cut the cord than be miserable, watching your partner hang out with friends and co-workers over you. You’d be better off single.
7. Your partner seems happy, but you’re not
Toxic partners don’t necessarily know they’re doing anything wrong. Sometimes, they might feel that everything is going well, while you’re actually miserable. In this case, sometimes communicating your needs to them better can help. If your partner is willing to change, then something can be salvaged. If they’re not, you’re better off without them anyway. Nobody’s happiness should have priority in a healthy relationship – find a balance and maintain it.
8. Your partner can’t let go of the past
Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. Including you. When your partner won’t let those mistakes go, the relationship is never destined to last. Most mistakes are forgivable, so if your partner isn’t the forgiving type, it’s time to assume they’re the problem, not you.