Ever heard of the phrase ‘Age is just a mental barrier’? We often use our physical age to set milestones in our lives such as finishing school by the age of 16, finding a job and learning to drive as soon as we are 18, completing graduation by the time we turn 21 or 22, and most importantly – getting married before we are 30 or 35 years of age.
But let’s take a minute here and think about how you decided to establish these goals for yourself. Age-related expectations do not arise out of a person’s individual desires and objectives in life; they are, in fact, are constructed by the society around us and we grow up to automatically absorb these expectations as essential values in order to become a ‘normal’ human being.
This article is about taking a break from all the societal, cultural and familial expectations from you and thinking about the future from a new perspective. You are 25 or 35 or 45 years old and haven’t achieved what everyone else your age seems to have achieved. Yes, it does seem difficult and can be a huge blow to one’s self-esteem sometimes.
But every time you see yourself drowning a little more in self-pity, it is time for you to hold tight. There is a reason why you are at a different stage in your life right now and not doing or accomplishing what others your age are accomplishing. Maybe God has a unique plan for you in store. Ever thought of that?
Call it as you will – fate or destiny or God. The key is to keep faith, stay hopeful and believe firmly that you are born to achieve greater things in life.
If you are 30 or older and haven’t found your Mr. Right yet, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you as a person. Some people are godsend to the world; they have a warm heart and can offer unconditional love to their friends, family, neighbors and even strangers at any given point in their life.
Maybe you are one of them. Or maybe you are someone who prefers their own company over someone they know they won’t be happy spending their life with. And let me tell you this – being a little picky in choosing your partner is actually a good thing. It shows your capacity to stay connected with yourself.
Sometimes, the reason that you haven’t found your life partner yet could be related to your past experiences. God expects you to take some time off to ponder over your pleasant and unpleasant relationship experiences before jumping into anything serious. It is always better to be late than sorry.
Take your time to analyze these situations in terms of your role in a relationship, what worked, what didn’t work, your expectations from your partner and how you can enter a relationship that enhances your emotional well-being.
Another possibility is that God wants you to take things one step at a time, as and when they occur. He doesn’t want external factors such as other people or situational factors such as important life events to control you; rather He wants you to take charge of your life and work around these factors to create a life you want to live.
And if this is the case, then you will have to learn to tackle disappointments, stop procrastinating your duties, take up important responsibilities for yourself and others around you, bounce back after a setback and be grateful for this confident and independent person that you are.
Some things will always be in your control and some won’t. What matters is to identify what can be controlled and do your best with what you have. Don’t let societal expectations such as dating someone at a certain age bog you down and affect your self-esteem. Remember that age is not a deadline.
If anything, it only indicates more wisdom about yourself and about the world around you. Being patient and deriving the maximum out of each experience will go a long way in helping you cherish and sustain your relationship with your life partner regardless of when you find him.