Loving Someone With Anxiety
How would you feel if you knew at this moment, that your continual feelings of worry and fear might be the key to ruining your relationship? More importantly, how would you know that your super anxious way of life is making your partner feel insecure and unhappy in your relationship? Millions of people have actually lost their relationships to anxiety and they often find out after so many failed relationships. Anxiety is a serious problem that has ruined lots of relationships leaving its victim lonely and unhappy. If I had told you there were ways of living with such people, would you still stick around? Of course the answer would probably be yes. Quite a good number of us are in relationships with such lovely people, and below are lovely tips on how to have a healthy, happy and fun filled relationship with lots of love and care at your disposal.
Don’t walk away, fight.
If you ever get to notice your lovely partner has been battling with this disease, do not walk away but rather stand by them, help them come through this insecurity clogged all over their head. Walking away isn’t the best option, and would never be. If you really care for someone, you would stand by them through thick and thin. Assist them, support them, make them lose that sense of insecurity and if they eventually get through this, they will eventually love you a hundred folds more. What more could you wish for!
Get used to saying ‘it’s okay’.
Keep encouraging them. You never can tell how powerful a two phrased power word like ‘its okay,’ can be. This phrase could go a long way to keeping them inline, sending down that sense of care and security down their spine. Ensure you use it more often.
Pay adequate attention Try as much as possible to be attentive to their various demands. Irrespective of how pointless, aimless or sarcastic they might seem. Other than telling them off, which certainly wouldn’t be helpful, try paying attention. You just might be saving yourself a whole stress. Research has it that paying adequate attention to them, makes them feel more secured, loved and invaluable. This is one of the best tips to saving a relationship. Embrace this act and you will feel much more relieved and at peace.
Avoid the ‘over-reacting’ phrase.
Some things might actually be cool by you but to them they aren’t. When they bring up those irrational, unpleasant and unimportant issues to you, rather than telling them off with the over reacting phrase, kindly take it all in and if possible promise never to let it repeat itself.
Expect some sleepless nights
If wake up at night only to find them up, mumbling to themselves, pacing at the ceilings or walking up and down the room, looking worried, gently hold them close and comfort them. Ensure them of your undying love and support. Your soft words, warm grasp and cuddle might just be the best medicine to get them back to sleep.
Never mistake anxiety for hatred
You tell them it’s an ex and the thought of you cheating with your ex, keeps playing out in their head. You say it’s just a friend and to them, it’s yet another friend looking for a way to break you two up. Do not sleep over these as it isn’t that they don’t trust you or their relationship, it’s absolutely the anxiety in them playing out. Make them understand there are no strings attached.
Answering texts promptly does help
You’ll probably agree with me that anxiety brings about suspicion. Most anxious people tend to answer texts/chats really fast, and could grow suspicious if you aren’t on the same page with them. Sending a little text explaining why you couldn’t continue with the text could be of great help rather than allowing them wallow in lots of suspicions. Silence is a great killer.
Expect more than a text message
Don’t get mad when you turn your phone on to two, three or four text messages. They aren’t trying to stalk you, but are just worried. They fact that they care a lot shouldn’t make them look mad. Remember anxiety comes with lots of care and affection.
Except last minute cancellations
Anxious people are prone to last minute cancellations. Whether out on a first date or on some regular outings, once they inform you of their inability to continue or inability to make it do not persuade them. Just grasp the fact that they have really tried and just couldn’t handle it for reasons best known to them. Parties usually turn them off, especially one with unfamiliar faces. Most times if they manage to get persuaded to stay, they end up getting intoxicated. Am pretty certain you wouldn’t love that.
Accept their flaws and apologies
Anxious people are highly observant. Your slightest mood shift can be easily noticed by them. Always endeavor to accept their flaws and apologies; be it over a night gone wrong, a concurrent text message, or a wrong doing else you might just be the one
apologizing. I bet you wouldn’t want that.
Offer to help when you can but don’t when you can’t
They would prefer having the wood all copped off by themselves rather than seeking for assistance. They never admit to difficult situations. Always offer to help where you can but if they resist, let things play out. Most times they find it difficult asking for help as they are so used to doing things on their own, do not always wait on them, offer to help.
Gain their trust and you will be loved unconditionally
Irrespective of their various attributes which could be quite unacceptable, the anxious are very good at loving and adoring their partners. This is one of their greatest attributes. Once you gain their trust, they could love you to the moon and back. Though
gaining their trust might take awhile, but once gained, you would be so loved, respected and cared for.