Don’t get me wrong. I am very competitive when it comes to some things. I enter all sorts of competitions, where I can show off my skills on a fair battle ground. Competition can be healthy, there is nothing wrong with proving your research is more beneficial than others, proving your point supported by facts and getting that scholarship you deserve. However, in a competition for man’s attention the answer is very simple- he doesn’t deserve you.
You’re a strong woman and you know what you want. However, once “what you want” wants other things or people more than you- it’s time to be strong enough to leave. People confuse competing with fighting. You should fight for your relationship! As a matter of fact, it is necessary for you to fight. Things don’t just stay alive on their own. We must water them and take proper care of what we have.
When you’re fighting, you’re showing how much you care. You will leave that meeting slightly early to get home and spend time with the one you love, but you will still get all your work done. It’s just about finding a fine balance between all the parts that constitute your life and make it what it is now. Your partner should be doing the same.
However, once there’s a need for competition- your partner disrupted the balance and left you out of the equation. Now you are not just fighting for his time, you’re competing for it with something or someone else. This means that despite all your efforts, your partner’s efforts don’t reciprocate. It can be another woman, his job, any other activity really- it doesn’t make a difference. Once you feel left out, the only thing left is to start competing. Don’t.
The man you chose should know very well what he has in you. Losing you and failing to recognize just how amazing you are because he’s distracted by something else is his fault. Staying and fighting does not make you a strong woman, it makes you dependent and desperately in need of his approval. So, choose to leave. If he took you out of the equation- keep yourself out of it. Trying to reinsert yourself is pointless. Even if you get his attention back, you are settling for a man who chose to leave you aside. There’s no reason good enough to justify that.
The sooner you leave, the sooner you’ll find someone who will not need reminders on how priceless what you two have is. Until that person comes along, be your own standing rock. You’re better off alone than with someone who doesn’t appreciate you enough.