Swipe Right and Don’t Talk about your Feelings: Why Modern Dating Sucks

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I swiped right. It was a match. I didn’t see his text as I was away from my phone. A few minutes after introducing himself he wrote “Whatever, you’re not that hot anyway.” 

In the world where my cute match lives in- there is no such a thing as waiting or staying away from your phone. 

I have nothing against meeting people online, but rarely have I ever heard a successful story. Let’s be honest; an innovative approach to meeting people with similar interests turned into a hookup application. That’s okay I guess. What bothers me is that it became a platform where it’s easy to offend someone on the other side because the lack of interpersonal communication dehumanizes recipients of our messages. 

We live in a digital society where people are massively afraid of interpersonal communication-heaven for my best friend who’s the biggest introvert I know, and a living hell for myself. I am stuck in a group of 20-something-year-olds who fall in love with people they never had a proper date with.  Not to mention how rare it is for a person to approach you casually and ask you out. No; they will ask around, find your phone number, add you on Instagram, like all your pictures and then shoot you a message a month later. And there you are, stuck in between a few looks you two exchange, waiting for their text message.

There’s another option- go to the bars! Rule number 1: get drunk, so you can blame your one-night-stand on alcohol and go on with your life in the morning. Get drunk so you can approach and get drunk so you can chit-chat with those who approach you. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against being wild and young and free, but once you do like someone you are ten times more likely to check all the internet sources on “how not to look desperate” than simply letting them know you like them. We are so concerned with the way we carry and present ourselves to the world around us that we often forget to be ourselves in the process. Filtering what we say and do became a trend. No double texts. Wait for them to text you. Don’t ask how they feel, you don’t want to scare them off. For all this effort, you’ll be awarded with a double-tap on all your social media.

If you’re reading this, I assume you are tired too. Of all the insults people throw at you on dating websites, of all the blind dates that went awful, of all the passive-aggressive behavior of those who clearly like you but they feel under so much pressure to admit that. So please, approach that girl in the café and tell her she has a nice smile. And if you are that girl, don’t be freaked out that he approached you. It is not desperate, it’s courageous. So, go on dates and talk about the way you feel. If you opt out and choose Tinder, be respectful to your matches. And please- meet them in person!

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