You’ve been in and out of relationships, and they’ve all fallen apart. Here you are, single again, wondering if something is wrong with you. You are single for a while now and you’re wondering if you’re the root of the problem. You are in a relationship, and it doesn’t feel great. Is it you? The truth is, whatever the scenario is, there is probably nothing wrong with you. Sometimes we do need a reminder we are stuck with ourselves forever, and we are the people we need to be cheering for on a daily basis. So stop thinking about yourself as a “problem”.
1. Travel by yourself
Our budgets don’t often allow for a dreamy trip to an exotic spot, but do go on mini trips all alone. You will have more time to find out things about yourself in a deadline-free environment. You might discover your taste buds are dying for something you previously didn’t even know existed. On that note, if traveling is still not an option, put it on your bucket list for now and instead:
2. Take yourself out.
As simple as that. It might sound silly, to some of us even uncomfortable in the beginning. We all look forward to our perfect dates with other people, so why is it hard to look forward to a simple date with ourselves? It took me a long time to realize that going out for a dinner by myself, trying out new drinks in a cute coffee-shop I’ve never been to or simply taking a long walk helped me meet myself. Not to mention you are breaking out of your comfort zones and learning not to care about what others think. This helps boost your confidence and turn inward, rather than letting the surrounding define what makes you happy.
3. Take personality tests.
And no, by this I don’t mean you need to find out what type of cereal are you. Something a bit more constructive. I took a Gender and Personality class in college as one of my free electives and realized taking personality tests made me think more actively about who I am. So dive into all those fun online tests, choose your responses impulsively and discuss your results with people you think know you best. Don’t take all the descriptions and advices they give you word-for- word but know that they can help form a bigger picture.
4. Read that book you said you would
We live in a busy world, for sure. You keep putting things off for later and forgetting about them. Don’t. Make your bucket lists, make a conscious effort to read that interesting title that keeps coming up, see that movie you promised your best friend you would, and all the other little things you keep neglecting. You keep investing time in others, find a slot of time for your personal growth. That’s not a waste in any way. Au contraire!
5. Take a break
…of whatever you’re currently in that clearly doesn’t work great. Is it that your relationships keep failing? Are you tired of being single? Are you in a suffocating relationship? It’s okay. Yes, things get complicated but don’t underestimate the power of investing in yourself. So take a break, and don’t feel guilty about it. Take a break to do the things on this list, to make your own lists and to start or continue the project of getting to know the person you will always have by your side. Yourself.