We dream about it, we idealize it, we are in constant search for it. Love is all around us, in all the songs we listen to, all the stories people tell us, all the movies we watch. It is often intertwined with clichés in our minds; including strawberries and chocolate and flowers. Somehow, we forget that love comes in different shapes and sizes and it works differently for each of us. So here are 5 things you should dismiss:
- Romantic love is essential to our happiness
Not at all. I do understand the reasoning behind “You don’t want to die alone, it’s nicer if you have a partner and kids” but we don’t all have the same needs. The sooner you realize you don’t necessarily need romantic love for your life to be “complete” you will be ten times more relaxed. There are other kinds of love and ways to feel fulfilled.
- Love is all we need for things to work out
No. Relationships need love as a foundation, but this myth will lead you to sacrifice your other needs and over compromise. Both of you need to work hard for this to happen and it’s not exclusively love that will help you stay together. It’s your commitment and the circumstances!
- Jealousy is a symptom of love
This myth makes it easier to justify irrationally jealous people under a simple excuse- “they love me.” Drama and jealousy don’t have to go hand in hand with love. If your partner trusts you, there will be no need for explaining yourself that much.
- It’s the first love that counts the most
Not true, yet we tend to romanticize our “first” experiences, both love wise and the sexual ones. These are important breakthroughs but are usually not as great as what comes later. Don’t feel guilty if your “first” anything wasn’t magical.
- “Love at first sight”
No. There is no such a thing. You can like someone and be extremely attracted to them, but are things really “meant to be”? To hold this myth true is to underplay the importance of trust for love to develop. You can’t love someone just by glancing over them.
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