No one wants to consciously be the clingy girlfriend every man only has bad things to say about. Of course, being needy at times and showing that you care are simply not the same as being clingy.
Clinginess has always been frowned upon because it’s linked to insecurities in a woman. Women also hate clingy men, so we really don’t have anything to complain about.
Are you a clingy girlfriend yourself? Let’s find out together!
1. You don’t have a life outside of the relationship
If your entire life revolves around your boyfriend, chances are quite high that you’re a clingy girlfriend.
Having hobbies and working hard on yourself makes you a fulfilled and happy person. Of course, it does lead you to spend less time around your partner, but that isn’t a bad thing.
You might feel the urge to spend all your time and energy on your partner just to reassure him that you love him, but believe me when I tell you, he already knows.
There’s no reason for you to sacrifice your entire life just for a relationship. He wants his alone time as well. It’ll make him feel even better if you do give him space.
It’ll make you seem more desirable if you have things going on in your life so your entire focus isn’t just on him.
2. You sacrifice your happiness for his
There are times when compromise is inevitable and we have to talk things through with our partner. This means that there really isn’t a reason for you to sacrifice your happiness, your wants, or needs just to accommodate a man.
Whenever you make the decision to put aside your own happiness just to make him happy, it makes your insecurities very obvious. You are being needy because you’re always agreeing with his wishes.
You may buy him gifts constantly because you hope to make him happy but your happiness will disappear when you see that he won’t ever give the same effort back.
3. He’s your one and only priority
When will you know if you have made your boyfriend your number one priority? That’s when you ignore your own wants and needs in favor of him.
You wanted to watch the season finale of that show you’ve been waiting for, but he says there’s a game tonight? You will let him have the remote for the night while you’re sitting there next to him watching a game that doesn’t even interest you.
When you want to go out, do you always go where he wants to go and the problem is that he doesn’t even question if it’s all right with you?
Do you stay up the entire night to help him with something, again, even though you have work in the morning yourself? How long will you be able to keep this up before you collapse?
4. You act the way he wants you to
You have stopped liking all the things you did before you met him and you have started to like the things he does.
Why? Well, it’s easier and he seems happier when you don’t debate what’s better and who’s right.
What happens? You lose your entire personality and your authenticity because of your boyfriend. The problem with this is that you can’t put on this act forever.
You will break at some point and he will see the real you. Of course, he may try to mold you the way he likes and it’s up to you to let him or not. If you do, it’s a sign you might be clingy.
When you’re a clingy girlfriend, you will always check your partner’s social media because you have to make sure where he is and what he’s doing.
We’ve all been in a situation where we have gone through our partner’s social media accounts, but if it turns into stalking, it is a problem.
You are using precious time that you can’t get back to go through the photos he has posted. Are you also checking when he was last online? Are you checking whose pictures he likes and how often?
You will sooner or later find yourself in a situation where you will overthink the posts he likes. Who’s that girl whose photos he likes every time? You probably know everything about her too.
6. You obsess over how long it takes him to text you back
How many times do you text him in a row without him responding? If it’s more than twice, it’s too much and it just might come off as being clingy.
Of course, texting him when you haven’t heard from him in a while is completely normal. You might have even forgotten to incorporate something in the previous text so you have to send another one.
That is not a problem. When it does become a problem is when you overly obsess about the amount of time he needs to respond to you.
You send him multiple messages to get his attention but believe me when I tell you that it’s not attractive at all. I promise you that if he needs more time to reply, it’s not because he’s cheating on you.
See also: Before Dating A Guy Who’s Been Hurt Before, Know This
7. You’ve broken into his phone to check his texts
I don’t know what can motivate you to do this, but whatever it is, it’s not worth violating someone’s privacy like that.
You might believe that you have the right to know who he’s texting and how often, but there other ways to do it instead of violating his trust.
If your man doesn’t want to show you his texts, it’s a whole new problem you’re facing. However, if he left you alone with his phone and you take the liberty to go through it while he doesn’t know about it, it’s a major issue.
Just because you know his password doesn’t mean you have the right to go through his phone whenever you think it’s convenient. You probably won’t even find anything suspicious, so the paranoia really isn’t necessary.
8. You get jealous of his attractive female friends and co-workers
We all have our fair share of insecurities and they become more evident when we’re in a relationship. However, you still have to realize that your insecurities are not facts and you shouldn’t act on them.
If you’re jealous of his attractive female friends and co-workers, you are just being a clingy girlfriend. Of course, if you see him obviously flirting with them and being just a little bit too tactile, then you have a right to act.
Asking him to quit a friendship with a female just because you feel insecure because of how attractive she is isn’t a valid enough reason.
Also, if the girl you’re jealous of is his co-worker, he’s literally obligated to spend time with her at his workplace. Making a big deal out of it won’t help anyone.
9. You need constant reassurance
Saying ‘I love you’ to your partner just to hear him confirm his love for you too is devious. You should say those words only when you feel them, not because you need reassurance.
We all want to feel validated by our partner and that’s normal, but someone who isn’t clingy won’t expect their partner to tell them how much they miss them multiple times a day.
You have only been separated for a few hours, it can’t be that bad. You will seem really clingy to him if you really expect him to reassure his love for and appreciation of you all the time.
10. You turn down your friends to spend time with him
A good man won’t get you into a situation where you haven’t seen your friends for weeks or maybe even months.
If your friends go out or plan trips and always invite you, you can’t always be busy. They will start hating your boyfriend because they will think that it’s his fault when you haven’t even mentioned this to him.
You didn’t tell him about all the times when you didn’t go out with your friends because you always want to spend time with him and no one else.
Let me ask you something; who’ll be there for you if your relationship doesn’t work out? Friends always come first. A real man knows that.
11. You show up at places where he hangs out
He went out with the boys so you did everything in your power to convince your friends to pay them a visit as well? So what do you do? You naturally join in and sit at their table.
You can’t deny that you’re clingy if you actually do this to your partner. He wanted to spend time out without you, not because he doesn’t like you and no, he is not cheating on you.
Just because he wants time away from you, doesn’t mean that he hates you. If you actually do show up when he doesn’t invite you to join him, then he will just perceive you as jealous.
12. You constantly worry that he’ll break up with you
You do all of this because you constantly worry that he’ll break up with you any minute. You’re so in your own head about your relationship that you end up overanalyzing each situation and you think of it as the end.
Every single time you two get into the smallest of arguments, you prepare yourself for the worst.
Believe it or not, these worries might be keeping you both from reaching the peak of your happiness. Your relationship is stagnant because of your insecurities.
If you have actually been anticipating a breakup since the very beginning and you’ve been doing anything and everything to prove to him that you are worthy of his love, it just might do the opposite.
He will perceive you as clingy if you don’t stop with this onslaught of attention and neediness. Every man needs space of his own and you will be much happier if you have your own space too.
You can’t tell me that you don’t need space, as everyone does and you have to put yourself as a priority.
No one should be as important to you as yourself. Once you start realizing that, you will be surprised by how much better your relationship will get.
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